I made my sister bleed !
Leandra Rodrigues ’ life was full of problems ; she suffered a tremendous amount , and her suffering led to her becoming sad and depressed .
“ I had to move to Portugal because my father lived there after he ’ d got injured in the army . When I arrived in Portugal , I saw that it was completely different when compared to where I had grown up , in Guinea . Everything was new for me : new people , new ways , and I didn ’ t know how things worked . In Guinea , we spoke a little Portuguese in school , but it wasn ’ t enough for me to communicate comfortably in Portugal .
In school , children would bully me ; they would call me horrible names and pick on my weight . I was the target of their hateful words every day . I eventually had enough of being the laughing stock , so , in order to defend myself , I became aggressive . This became my way of protecting myself , but whenever I got home I would feel terrible . I would break down into tears when no one was around , as I didn ’ t want anyone to see me at my weakest .
As time went on , I became more and more aggressive . I had built up a well of anger and resentment against my father because I found out he was cheating on my mother with another woman . At that point , I didn ’ t even like to look at his face . I hated him . I started binge eating and gaining even more weight as a way to release the anger .
I started treating my younger sister really badly because I knew he liked her more . I wanted him to feel the same hurt that I had felt when he cheated on my mother , and the only way I could accomplish that was through beating my sister . I remember there was a day that I beat my sister so badly she started bleeding and , to this very day , I regret doing so . At the time however , I couldn ’ t care less . In fact , I felt accomplished because I was able to hurt my father through my actions .
I was never able to talk about my problems to anyone ; I felt like if I did they wouldn ’ t understand what I was going through .
However , my mother invited me to a meeting at the UCKG and , although I didn ’ t want to go , I agreed to give it a chance . During this meeting , the man of God gave me steps on how I could change my life situation . He spoke a lot about forgiveness , but I had a hard time forgiving my father . I felt like he didn ’ t deserve to be forgiven , but no matter how hard I tried to change , I was never able to move forward without letting go of the grudge I was holding .
Although I continued to attend the meetings after that day , and more often , it still took me a long time to open up . This was because I had believed for so long that it wasn ’ t necessary for me to talk about how I felt . Once I decided to let go and open up , my life started moving forward . I was attending the Wednesday meetings to influence my inner change ; I was following the steps I had learned at these meetings , and I eventually forgave my father too .
Today I am strong ; I no longer have any insecurities or hold any grudges .”
Today I am strong ; I no longer have any insecurities or hold any grudges . My sister and I are the best of friends ; I no longer lay a finger on her , neither do I comfort-eat ; instead , I have peace inside of me . Never believe that God cannot change your life for the better because that was what I thought , but here I am today – a changed woman !”
Leandra Rodrigues
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LOCAL NEWS | UCKG . ORG | 020 7686 6000
I made my
sister bleed!
Leandra Rodrigues’ life was full of problems; she suffered a tremendous
amount, and her suffering led to her becoming sad and depressed.
“I had to move to Portugal because my father lived there after
he’d got injured in the army. When I arrived in Portugal, I saw
that it was completely different when compared to where I
had grown up, in Guinea. Everything was new for me: new
people, new ways, and I didn’t know how things worked. In
Guinea, we spoke a little Portuguese in school, but it wasn’t
enough for me to communicate comfortably in Portugal.
In school, children would bully me; they would call
me horrible names and pick on my weight. I was the
target of their hateful words every day. I eventually
had enough of being the laughing stock, so, in
order to defend myself, I became aggressive.
This became my way of protecting myself, but
whenever I got home I would feel terrible. I would
break down into tears when no one was around, as I
didn’t want anyone to see me at my weakest.
As time went on, I became more and more
aggressive. I had built up a well of anger and
resentment against my father because I found out
he was cheating on my mother with another woman.
At that point, I didn’t even like to look at his face. I hated
him. I started binge eating and gaining even more weight as
a way to release the anger.
I started treating my younger sister really badly because I
knew he liked her more. I wanted him to feel the same hurt
that I had felt when he cheated on my mother, and the only
way I could accomplish that was through beating my sister. I
remember there was a day that I beat my sister so badly she
started bleeding and, to this very day, I regret doing so. At the
time however, I couldn’t care less. In fact, I felt accomplished
because I was able to hurt my father through my actions.
I was never able to talk about my problems to anyone; I felt
like if I did they wouldn’t understand what I was going through.
STOP
SUFFERING
6
LOCAL NEWS | UCKG.ORG | 020 7686 6000
However, my mother invited me to a meeting at the UCKG
and, although I didn’t want to go, I agreed to give it a chance.
During this meeting, the man of God gave me steps on
how I could change my life situation. He spoke a lot about
forgiveness, but I had a hard time forgiving my father. I felt like
he didn’t deserve to be forgiven, but no matter how hard I tried
to change, I was never able to move forward without letting go
of the grudge I was holding.
Although I continued to attend the meetings after that day,
and more often, it still took me a long time to open up.
This was because I had believed for so long that it w �ͻ�e�)�����ͅ�䁙�ȁ���Ѽ�х�������Ё��܁$����и�=����$��������)Ѽ���Ё�����������������䁱�����х�ѕ����٥������݅ɐ��$�݅�)��ѕ������ѡ��]����͑�䁵��ѥ��́Ѽ�����Օ�����䁥����)�������$�݅́�����ݥ���ѡ���ѕ�́$��������ɹ����Ёѡ�͔)���ѥ��̰�����$��ٕ��Յ��䁙�ɝ�ٔ��䁙�ѡ�ȁѽ��)Q����$������ɽ���$)��������ȁ��ٔ����)��͕��ɥѥ�́�ȁ����)��䁝�Ց��̻�t)Q����$������ɽ���$���������ȁ��ٔ���䁥�͕��ɥѥ�́�ȁ����)��䁝�Ց��̸�5�ͥ�ѕȁ����$��ɔ�ѡ�����Ё����ɥ�����$���)�����ȁ��䁄������ȁ�����Ȱ����ѡ�ȁ���$�������е���쁥��ѕ���)$���ٔ���������ͥ����������9�ٕȁ�����ٔ�ѡ�Ё���������)���������ȁ�������ȁѡ�����ѕȁ�����͔�ѡ�Ё݅́ݡ�Ё$)ѡ�՝�а���Ё��ɔ�$����ѽ��䃊L�����������ݽ�����t)1����Ʉ�I��ɥ�Օ�)х���Ѽ���(����������