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December, I 918
THE LANDSWOMAN
Story Competition
First Prize-Mr. Slippery Slime and others
AR.Y was tired. She was angry, too, and felt she hated
everyhody. She hated Hilda Brown because she threw
worms at her. she hated Farmer J ohnson for scolding her when
she screamed; and Mrs. Johnson because she said she must bear
all her small trials, even slimy ones, with patience, but. most of
all, sho hated those worms themselves !
She threw herself down on a heap of turnips and thOught of
home, her first Christmas away from it, and of the parti~s that
patriotic Mary had given up-given UJ;> to do her bit, which was
more to her than champagne or dancmg.
" How warm and comfy the shed was. Surely that was not
the dressing gong ? How silly she was I She was in Farmer
Johnson's turnip shed, and yet-1t sounded like-and then--"
" What dress will yon wear, Miss llfary ? "
" Oh, my silver one to-night, Annette, as it's my first uight at
home and lots of people coming. Oh 1 how lovely it is to be at
home' for Christmas 1 I never thought I should get here.
M
I-"
She hurried to the drawing-room withont waiting to complete
her sentence. It was packed with men, but---<:>h ! horror leach man was a Johnson! .Johnson, Johnson, Johnson, and
yet again J ohnson 1 His wife and Hilda Brown were the only
ladies present. Mrs. J. wore an exceptionally low dress of
delicate, old·rose chiffon. If, however, she had been thirty
years younger, and if a sense of super-modesty had not obliged
her to don a man's "dicky," complete with the usual made-up
tie she mighi have looked better.
Hilda, though very dirty, had not troubled to change after her
day's work, and Jlfary's eye mechanically traced her muddy
track across the carpet.
It was then she noticed two other tracks, silvery lines that
twisted in and out among the furniture and at the end of
them-What-what were those ? Those two figures ? Were they
figures, though ? Did people ever writhe and squirm like that.?
Were they-col!ld they be?-- They were! Worms-worms
standing on their tails and reaching as high as men !
u Here you are, Mary 1" said her father .
" I must introduce
you."
Then, turning to the
nearest worm" Mr. Wriggley
Squirm,my daughter."
The worm writhed
a bow, which Mary
returned-at a dist·
ance.
" And," continued
h er father, "Mr.
Slippery Slime." And
once more Mary was
obliged to return the
wriggled salutation.
•• Dinner is served,"
boomed Smith, the
butler.
Who would be her
pa. tner? John son,
r
surely ! At least he
wasn't loathsome 1
But, no! Mr. Slippery
Slime came slithering
to her side ! He did
not look at all robust.
Evidently he had met
with an accident at
sometime, anda'thick,
red join did' not en·
hance his appearance;
besides, it prevented his collar fasteuing. He was one of those
worms whose pink shades to blue, probably owing to anremia,
and whose nervous disposition causes them to telescope up if
they are touched.
"Oh, I'm going in with Mr. Johnson. You see-er--"
stammered Mary.
"My dear," broke in :Mrs. Johnson, fussily, .. you wound Mr.
Slippery Slime's feelings and display an unladylike lack of
hospitality which pains me."
"Yes, dear, Mr. Slippery Slime is your partner," said her
mother, and poor Mary was obliged to walk to the diuing·room
with that reptile gliding beside her.
At table she sat between Mr. Slippery Slime and a Johnson.
i\Ir. Wriggley Squirm and the triumphant Hilda opposite her, and
all the other places filled with" spare copies" of Johnson 1
The soup was handed round. It smelt good, and indeed did
not taste bad, but, somehow, it was very familiar-- Surely it
was not calf meal ?
"Well, what an idea I" she thought. Nevertheless, had it
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not been for the living emetic beside her she would have enjoyed
both the joke and the food .
The"' soup " being dispensed with, the fish was served. Mary
turned away in disgust from the helping of fish meal which Smith
dumped in front of her, in spite of her "No, thanks ! "
She felt she must talk, if she didn't eat, so she inquired in a
tremulous voice if the worm had travelled much ?
He writhed, but did not reply, and there was silence till the
turkey was brought in. · This, at least, was genuine, but, being a
trifle Underdone, was still aJive.
As soon as the worms saw it they beCi.:'tme panic-stricken and
slithered suddenly beneath the table.
"Do not be alarmed!" said their host. "This bird is not at
all early and will never find you 1 Smith, remove it, and bring
the pudding."
The light ́ݕɔ