rejecting the kidney . After getting back on the transplant list , Kim ’ s second transplant happened in 1998 . That kidney lasted a remarkable 13 years . That is where I come in . I met Kim in 2010 . We were introduced at a social event by a mutual friend . We hit it off immediately . The night I met her , Kim told me about her disease . She never hesitated . She told me almost matter-of-factly , as if she felt I needed to know and just got it out in the open right away . I knew what kidney disease was , of course , but did I ever have a lot to learn . Within a couple of days of us meeting , casual lunch plans were discussed . It was difficult to arrange , however , because Kim was doing in-clinic hemodialysis at the local DaVita Center . She said I could come visit her there , if I wanted to . I thought about it and decided to bring lunch to her . This was my first eye-opening experience . I had no clue . I knew she was getting dialysis but I had no idea what that enormous machine was doing . It was then I decided I was going to have to buckle down and learn as much as I could , if this new relationship was going to go anywhere . Kim needed a third transplant . But there was a checklist of items we had to do to get her there . Within a few months , we had made it on the transplant list at Barnes Hospital in St . Louis . By April of 2012 , Kim was very sick and doing home peritoneal dialysis . That is when we got the call . A kidney was available ! Immediately you go from elation , to sadness for the person who had passed away but made a critical life choice to be a donor , and on to nervousness . The surgery was successful . By 2015 , Kim was working full-time and leading a relatively normal life . We had married in 2013 and were raising kids . Sure , there were the follow-up doctor visits , the numerous blood draws and hospitalizations . But , we were leading a relatively normal life . Hospitalizations are frequent . Remember , the immune system is shot , especially in Kim ’ s situation , having had three transplants . Things had been fine . Her labs were normal – or at least normal for someone in Kim ’ s situation . That all changed in the summer of 2016 . Kim had been feeling abnormally ill , extra fatigued , and nauseous . We were making the twohour drive from our hometown in Quincy , IL to St . Louis to see the doctors there . On the trip , Kim was very quiet . I asked
her what was wrong , and she said she knew her kidney was failing . Ever the optimist , I tried to pep talk her . “ You ’ ll be fine ,” I said . “ Everything will check out .” Kim , the realist who has been fighting this her whole life , disagreed . Once in St . Louis , doctors did a biopsy . Waiting for the results was excruciating . Sadly , Kim was right . The doctors came in . You could see by the look on their faces that the news was not good . The lead doctor came right out with it . There is no easy way to say it . “ The kidney is in bad shape ,” he said . “ It ’ s failing .” They left the room and Kim and I sat quietly for a minute . I hugged her . I sat back down , and I did something I rarely do . I started bawling . The emotions flowed out of me . As a caregiver , I sometimes feel like I do not make a good husband . Conversely , as a husband , I sometimes feel like I do not make a good caregiver . It is a constant struggle . But I am learning every single day . Kim is back on dialysis . She does not like it , but the alternative is … well , there is no alternative . So , we wait . We are back on the transplant list in St . Louis . We have now made two trips to Chicago to try and get listed there . We figure the more options , the better the odds . If nothing else , we are getting great advice and talking to some of the smartest people in the world about Kim ’ s condition . I do what I can to help Kim . I prepare her machine for dialysis every day . That is about a 20-minute process . I inventory her supplies and stay on top of what is needed . Every out of town doctor appointment she has , I drive her . These are relatively small things , but they are important to Kim . One thing I have learned : work as much fun into this as possible . Kidney disease is not fun . But there is still a life to lead . When we went to Chicago recently , we went to a Cubs game the night before the appointment ( even though I am a diehard Cardinals fan ). Chicago is a 5-hour drive , so that is a long haul just to go and do doctor appointments . So , it is important to work in fun things to do when possible . Getting a fourth transplant is going to be hard . The antibodies in Kim ’ s system are very high . But we have two choices . Fight . Or not . We are choosing to fight . Kim received her fourth transplant on November 17 , 2017 at Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St . Louis . Subsequent doctor visits have all been positive . Her kidney is performing great ! Her creatinine has been in the low 1 ’ s which is remarkable
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