information with people who have been supportive of you in
the past. Talking about your kidney transplant may even be
helpful for your close friends’ and family members’ emotional
adjustment to the news, Kuntz says. If you do tell friends and
family, and they are supportive, you’ll be able to lean on them
when you need help.
You might decide to tell your donor, assuming they are
supportive, that the kidney is failing. These conversations
can be emotional and difficult, so Skillings recommends
writing a short “speech” or memorizing what you want to say
beforehand.
You don’t have to share the news with people who are toxic
or have been unsupportive in the past. “It’s OK to not tell
someone, even if you’re related to them, if you don’t feel like
it’s safe,” Skillings says.
Try counseling or get professional help if you need it.
For those of us with a chronic illness, some aspects of our
health are out of our control. If the likelihood of kidney failure
is on the horizon, you may feel like there’s no point in keeping
up with your favorite activities or continuing to take your
medications. Some people become depressed.
Seek help if you start feeling hopeless, depressed or are
unable to cope with the news. Consider seeing a licensed
psychologist, therapist or other mental health professional.
Your transplant team or nephrologist will likely be able
to refer you to a provider who can help you through this
tough time.
Jewel Edwards-Ashman is the member communications
manager in the Practice Directorate at the American
Psychological Association. She was diagnosed with kidney
disease (FSGS) in 2003 and received a kidney transplant in 2013.
This resource was developed jointly by the American
Psychological Association (APA) and Dialysis Patient Citizens
Education Center as part of a partnership to educate
dialysis patients and their families on the psychological and
emotional aspects of managing kidney disease
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