The Jester | Page 27

“It hasn’t been the same since the violinist left!” ‘same again, please barman.’ I didn’t like the sound of that, made me wonder if they somehow recycled the stuff. So there I was. Thinking, this would be a fine way to earn a living. And here I am, currently playing the piano on a Danish ship, all these years on thinking... ‘mmm... well...’ It seems extraordinary now that at fourteen I got a regular job playing Fridays and Saturdays at the sweet home inn in Poole (that one’s actually still there). My status went through the roof when somebody at school asked me if that really had been me playing there the Friday before, and how much did I get paid for that? I told him I got two pounds fifty a night, which made him reflect rather bitterly that his paper round required getting up at quarter to seven, seven days a week and paid a mere pound for the whole caboodle. I pointed out, perhaps a tad patronisingly, that whilst he was doing something worthy, delivering www.thecartoonistsclub.com information to a nation starved of the stuff (no internet back then) I was merely playing the piano, a greatly skilled thing to do, admittedly but ultimately pointless; but he was inconsolable, even though I kindly followed him around all day reiterating the point. I was all of sixteen when I answered an advertisement for a pianist needed on the Costa Dorada in Melody Maker. I wrote a very nice letter listing all my experiences (see above) and got a very nice letter back saying the job was now filled but I sounded ideal and she would keep me in mind for future occasions. A few weeks later a telegraph arrived saying ‘pianist has broken leg. Fly out as soon as you can’ and I sent a telegraph back to say I was on my way. I’d never been abroad before. I flew to Barcelona wearing a three piece pinstripe suit which I imagine made me look very grown up. In fact it made me look (and feel) very hot. I took a train to Calella. When I arrived there and introduced myself the woman took one look at the sweating 27