The Humor Mill April 2015 | Page 39

Ted Cruz. I never believed in re-incarnation until I compared this galoot’s headshot with that of Joseph McCarthy. For those of you who didn’t pay attention in history class, that was the asshole Senator in the 50s who went around accusing everybody of being a Communist without a lick of evidence as he lapped up huge quantities of booze. The wet mouthed drunkard was eventually disgraced, as all rational thinking people know will be the fate of Theodore Cruz. He’s the Tea Party boy determined to destroy Obamacare mainly because it’s known as Obamacare. If it was Reagancare he’d be going door-to-door with a clip board begging you to sign up. The question about this Canadian born immigrant is where the hell is his birth certificate and papers to show he’s had all of his shots? How about the addle-brained Governor of Texas, Rick Perry. In 2012 this shit-kicker couldn’t remember the three agencies he was going to dismantle once he became president so it’s no wonder he had selective amnesia when it came to his fondness for Negros. This sucker used to hunt at a place called Niggerhead. He denied it of course, but evidence is a bitch. In October 2011, the Washington Post reported that Perry's family leases a hunting camp once called "Niggerhead". According to some local residents interviewed by the Post, the Perrys used the camp for years before painting over a large rock with that name on it, which stands at an entrance to the area, and during this time Perry hosted friends and supporters at the camp. Perry's campaign disputed the claims, stating that the Perrys painted over the rock almost immediately after acquiring a lease on the property in 1983. The Washington Post news reporter filing the October 1, 2011, news report interviewed seven people "...who spoke in detail of their memories of seeing the rock with the name at various points during the years that Perry was associated with the property through his father, partners or his signature on a lease". Either way, John Brown he ain’t. Rand Paul. Son of an over-reactionary perennial loser or a forward thinking politician sporting a semi-Jeri Curl? Who is the real Rand Paul? He labels himself a Libertarian. The last Republican to do so talked to an empty chair at one of their conventions. As far as Paul’s love of the Black man don’t let him bamboozle you. Asked if he thought a private business had the right to say it would not serve black people, he said: "I don't want to be associated with those people, but I also don't want to limit their speech in any way in the sense that we tolerate boorish and uncivilized behavior because that's one of the things freedom requires." Gotcha! Next! The remainder of the declared and undeclared aren’t much better. Marco Rubio? A Latin against immigration. Who’s voting for this racial traitor? If he’s not a friend to his own you can pretty much surmise his depth of empathy for those with pigmentation down the line. Chris Christie? For starters does he even look like he likes Black people? Would you go out for beers with him late at night and expect to get back home without a beat down by some of his blue collar diaper buddies from the docks? When you hear him speak does Chris sound like he’d stop violence against a Black person or be the guy reaching into his trunk to get a rope? Okay, forget what he looks like and the stereotypes. Let’s go by what he