Mouth To Ear
After our last conversation, I went away confused. You have told me that you cannot define the “good” way to act. How should I act?
Brother, this is a fair question. I cannot tell you how to act, but I can help you find your path through this life; I can help you live your life fully and without regrets.
How is that?
Brother, first you must understand the duties and obligations in your life. You clearly have an obligation to your family, your community, your nation, and your God. Less clear to some is the obligation to your employer. Often overlooked is your duty and obligation to yourself, without which all other obligations become moot.
How so?
If you fail to preserve your own vitality, your own life, you are incapable of fulfilling any other duties… Examine your life now, before you are called upon to display your character, and be clear in your duties and obligations.
Second, you must identify your personal values. This system of beliefs will undoubtedly be different from mine, but no matter. Our values and our beliefs are the characteristics that identify us within our community, and ultimately determine our individual character. We may place ourselves first or last. We may provide financial support for our families with a job that takes us far and wide, or we may value daily personal interaction with our children more than financial gain. We may value fraternal affiliations over our jobs. Our patriotism may take us to war when we would prefer to be with our friends and families. Sometimes, it seems these decisions are forced upon us by outside forces, however, in a life well lived, the individual chooses the direction at each crossroad.
You will make that choice based on consideration of your personal duties and obligations, and in the light of your personal value system. Herein you come face to face
with the dilemmas of situational ethics. For the moment, let us look at an extreme case. The vast majority of individuals value human life. Homicide is criminal, not just immoral, in most cultures and in most situations. In times of warfare, however, our soldiers are told that killing the enemy is desirable for the “greater good”, whatever that may be. In peacetime, we are told that killing in “self defense” is allowed, as it is an act of self preservation. Do these rationalizations justify homicide? For you, my Brother, your specific action will be determined by your personal values and your understanding of your duties and obligations to God, your fellow man, and yourself.
You have been taught, my Brother, that it is undesirable to judge your fellow man. In many cases, we all fail this particular test of our character, and cast aspersions on others. (I am reminded of a bad joke from my youth- a man and his son returned from the grocery store, and the boy ran to his mother. “We had a great trip to the store, Mom. We saw a lot of neat old cars, a Ford, a Chevy, and a Stupidbastard…” The language is offensive, but the lesson is clear.) Actually, we are entitled to judge another persons actions. Judgment becomes a problem when we equate our judgment of a persons acts with a statement of their worth as an individual. We are taught, as Masons, that it is alright to take a Brother aside and criticize their behavior. Obviously, that criticism should be thought out, and directed at the behavior, rather than presented as a denial of the worth of the individual. In extreme cases, our By Laws even support expulsion from the Fraternity for certain well defined actions. Sadly, this type of censure occurs, but we should never believe we are judging the individual. We are only allowed to judge their actions. I venture into this discussion for one specific reason. When you judge your own actions, always remember you are not judging your own self worth. Forgive yourself when you do not live up to your own expectations of your actions. If you do not, you will self destruct.
Fred Ayers
PM, Syracuse Lodge #309, Syracuse Kansas
Frederiucksburg Lodge #794
The Guiding Light / Jan. 2016 13