POWWOWLOOKATME
JH: let’s just assume you’re
gonna take me on date, where
would you take me?
LC: To the hair dresser…
DE: G-A-Y.
LC: Look at the state of you…
MF: I’m going to take you to a
musical, let’s go and see Book of
Mormon.
JH: What about Jamie
Dornan?
TM: Your man from Fifty Shades?
Yeah.
JH: If all five of you were on a
desert island, who would be
the alpha male and who
would be the first to crack?
MC: I think Timmy would crack
JH: Do you own a black vest
first.
TM: Oooo I like that.
top?
MC: Nope.
MC: You like your comforts…
TM: I like that, but I think you’d
JH: What is scruff?
be surprised…
JH: Do you put out on the first DE: A dog?
DE: I think that Mike might be the
date?
(Mark whispers in his ear)
alpha male.
MF: Definitely not.
DE: A dating App...
MC: I was going to say you.
MF: I use dating in the lose sense DE: I feel like you’d go out and
JH: Would you pay? (for the
of the word...
bring the food back.
first date)
LC: Can I just halt proceedings
MF: I think Mike would sing us a
MF: Would I pay for the first date? really quickly... (to Mike) a black
load of west end tunes.
Yeah go on then.
vest top? On Pancake day there’s a MC: (Nods in agreement)
picture of you on twitter…
DE: I’d struggle to kill anything to
JH: Are you a trunks, boxers, MC: It’s not black!
eat it, but I feel like you’d just do
briefs of jockstrap kinda
LC: What is it then? Charcoal?
it.
guy?
MC: It’s green.
TM: That’s a tough one actually.
LC: Multi-pack - however they
LC: Oh, it’s a very dark green… It
come.
must have had a filter on it or
JH: Which Disney princess
something. He looked really lovely would you be?
JH: Viagra or Valium?
in it though…
MF: Is Ariel a Disney princess?
TM: Neither actually…
MC: I’ve got vests… none of which TM: Cinderella. The glass slipper
are black…
and all that…
JH: What did you think of the
DE: I’ll be Eliza from Frozen.
Heath Ledger and Jake
JH: So RuPaul’s Drag Race
MC: I’d be Princess Jasmine.
Gyllenhaal sex scene in
is…
LC: Is there any meaning attached
Brokeback Mountain?
TM: The best show on earth...
to this?
MC: Erm… lovely?
LC: Bloody brilliant. “Don’t f**k it TM: Oh god just pick…
up.”
LC: They’re generic… fine I’ll be
JH: Which other boy band
Belle because I like dancing with
would you date?
JH: Is Katie Hopkins a gay
hairy men…
DE: Backstreet Boys!
icon?
MF: The whole band?
TM: No I don’t think she is at all…
DE: Yeah!
LC: Is she supposedly?
JH: When was the last time
you cried in public?
MF: In public? Erm… I’m quite an
emosh person so maybe a few
month ago…
JH: Well she’d like to think of
herself as one...
TM: Well not in my eyes. Not in
my book… I wouldn’t consider her
a gay icon in any shape or form...
JH: Does Brad Pitt give you
stirrings?
LC: No.
JH: Were you born this way?
MC: Yep! (Looks confused)
12 THEGAYUK | ISSUE 16 | NOV 2015
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