The Gay UK Issue 1 | Page 71

CHRISTMAS ! Step1: Drink a glass of water before leaving the house. Step 2: After every drink, try to have some water. Step 3: Food. Helps soak it up. Step 4: TOP 5 CHRISTMAS SHOWS AND PANTOS ! It’s behind you. Oooooh look at the size of that melon. Panto season is here again. Run go buy your tickets for camp festive merriment. Here are just some of the hilarity going on in the UK this year. ! 1.The Night Before Christmas Spell-binding and magical fun from the talented and much loved Chickenshed Theatre Company, in North London. An original Christmas show with a real difference. Chickenshed.org.uk Paracetamol before bedtime (Only if you’re not allergic please, we don’t want any festive fatalities now.) Step 5: Get up early. Step 6: Water, Water, Water, Water, Eggs on toast with a Bloody Mary! ! 2.Potted Panto Vaudeville Theatre London Last Night: 5th January 2014 Seven classic pantomimes in just eighty minutes! Staring the very attractive and talented Dan & Jeff (The boys behind Potted Potter). ! 5) What on earth are you wearing? At this time of year some folk like to experiment with their clothing and can sometimes leave the house looking like a tarted up Christmas tree. We all enjoy the guy who wears the Rudolph jumper with a bobble red nose on it, from afar. However this isn’t going to get you many kisses under the mistletoe. We are gay men. Fashion and style is apparently in our DNA. ! ! So before leaving the house just look in the mirror and ask, ‘Would I shag that?’ vaudeville-theatre.co.uk/PottedPanto ! Examples: Topless boys with fairy wings to back, white shorts and glitter dust out lining their six packed bodies. YES. 3.Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Birmingham Hippodrome - Last Night: 2nd February 2014 Staring everyone’s favourite fashion guru, Gok Wan as The Man In The Mirror. ! Smart jacket and ironed shirt, unbuttoned at top, with good leather shoes and a little stubble. YES. ! Green tights and felt shoes with tinkling bells attached, ripped jean shorts, purple woollen jumper with I Believe In Santa in yellow lettering on it and a Santa hat with flashing LED lights in it. NO! GO HOME AND CHANGE! ! TOP 5 CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS ! ! ! ! ! Is it the 27th yet? Well done, you’ve just survived another Christmas. ∎ 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Bombki Large Post Box Glass Tree £30.00 Heart Twig Wreath £18.00 Scandi-chic Giant Felt Robin £40.00 Woodland Snow Globe £15.00 Indoor Mini Popsicle LED Christmas £15.00 ∎ All available from JohnLewis.com/Christmas birminghamhippodrome.com 4. Jack and the Beanstalk Cardiff New Theatre - Last Night: 19th January 2014 A giant man with a long stalk and staring Julian Clary. Christmas couldn’t be more camp! newtheatrecardiff.co.uk 5. Peter Pan Theatre Royal 71