The Gay UK Issue 1 | Page 140

THEGAYUK WINTER 13 /14 Issue 1 COLUMN SOME PEOPLE ARE GAY COLUMN ! By Chris Bridges I’m never normally speechless but the other day a work colleague rendered me thus. She happened to mention the Stonewall “Some People Are Gay Get Over It” bus campaign that has relaunched. She wondered why it was necessary at all to even need to tell people that gay people exist and that they needed to ‘get over’. Isn’t everyone already fine about people being gay? Of course some people are gay and given how accepted and standard it’s considered now, why bother even saying that? ! I remained silent, to my shame. There was a lot that I could have said. I could have pointed out that homophobic hate crimes still ride high in the crime figures’ hit parade. I could have discussed the recent reports about the volume of calls to The Samaritans from men with issues surrounding their sexuality. I could have pointed out that although we’re both white and middle class, we work in an area with a high black and ethnic Read more from Chris Bridges at THEGAYUK SEX TALK minority population with high social deprivation where homophobia is rife. I could have pointed out the high levels of bullying in schools, prevalence of drug and alcohol problems in LGBT people and the hig h rates of mental illness and suicide that, unsurprisingly, go hand in hand with this. Tuesday 19th November may not have seemed that different from any other day, but this year it marked International Men’s Day. ! ! Maybe, I could have quoted some of the extremist religious groups and the hatred and bile that they spout about us, to anyone who will listen. I could have discussed the long wait for marriage equality and the vitriol that was merrily aired during this debate. I could have mentioned the school children on the bus, merrily calling each other ‘gay’ as an insult, the word, naturally, meaning totally crap. ! I didn’t mention any of this. I grunted and carried on typing, followed a few minutes later by a funny little aside about a colleague. I was fulfilling my role, you see: comedic and waspish gay colleague/ friend/relative/neighbour. We’re unthreatening and fun to be around. We’re much like the inflatable ‘gay best friend’ recently on sale by a major supermarket. We make hen nights jolly but can be put back in the drawer if we get over blown. ! I think that tomorrow, I may take something unusual to work with me: my soapbox. We’ve got things to discuss. ∎ A day to reflect on the contributions and sacrifices made by men in society. It’s also a day to celebrate your other half and show him just how much you care!   Durex’s sex and relationship expert Susan Quilliam knows how important it is to reaffirm affection and admiration in a relationship to keep it successful. She comments ‘Actions can speak louder than words, so keep the intimacy alive by finding new ways to spice up your sex life. You and your man will appreciate it!’   So get in his good books this winter, and score some early brownie points before Christmas too, with Durex’s top tips to make him tick: ! Ask him what he likes: There’s no better way to find out what your other half prefers between the sheets than talking to him about it. Using products with his pleasure in mind will also drive him crazy, like Durex Thin Feel condoms which are designed especially for a sleeker fit and feel to heighten sensitivity. ! If you like it, he’ll LOVE it: Nothing will get your partner going more than seeing you aroused. Explore each other and let him know that he turns you on. Using lubes such as Durex Play Strawberry can stimulate different senses and sweeten up your sex life. ! Try something new: Keep things fresh and fun in the bedroom (or wherever you fancy) by testing out new ways to get him excited. ! Introducing toys to your relationship may lead to more naughty nights in this winter. Durex Play Vibrations is a vibrating ring that will give both of you 20 minutes to tease, tantalise and maximise your pleasure.   Susan agrees: ‘By taking time to show each other how important intimacy is in your relationship, you’ll become closer than ever.’ ∎ ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! You can explore the entire Durex range, which includes vibrators and lubricants, at durex.co.uk. 140