Letting Go of the Past
By: MJ
We all struggle with the past, whether it’s:
- Arguments repeating in our minds, over and over
- Mistakes we’ve made, regret, and beat ourselves down for it
- Resentment about how someone has wronged us, either a few moments ago, or a few years ago
- Wishing our circumstances or where we came from were better or different
And more.
What if we could just let go of what happened and live in the now?
What if our past didn’t dictate our present?
Holding on to the pains of our past actually hurts us right now, and hinders the possibilities of the present we could be living.
How do we really begin to let go of what has held us back from moving forward?
Recognize your story. You may currently have some kind of pain or difficulty: anger, hurt, frustration, disappointment, regret – the list continues.
Notice it. Be aware of it. Whether it’s recent or in the distant past, see how it’s shaped you now. It’s okay to say, “My past caused me pain.” We’re human. Then, remember: it’s not happening right now. The only thing remaining is the pain, caused by your story.
“Story” doesn’t mean it’s “false” or “true”, or any kind of judgment. It’s simply a process happening inside your head.
- You remember what took place.
- You have a perspective of what happened, with you as the injured party.
- This creates emotion in you.
Acknowledge your story, without judgment, on the story or yourself. Now that you know your story, accept it is causing you difficulty or pain.
The scariest part? Facing the pain. It’s almost a physical feeling: it might be a tightness in the chest, a sense of feeling hollow, perhaps an ache in your heart – this list could go on, too.
We usually try avoiding these feelings. But, avoidance solves nothing. Instead, practice facing the physical feelings. Face them with courage. Explore them with curiosity.
Where do you feel it? Does it change?
Close your eyes. Stay with it. Be tender, friendly, welcoming. Embrace it.
Breathe in your difficulty, and breathe out compassion. Breathe out the relief from that difficulty. Let it go.
Practice this every day, in small doses if needed. As you do this, with practice, you start to let go of your pain and its difficulty. Give it time. Be patient.
It’s a process. Embrace the journey.
As you feel you’ve let go, rather than getting caught up in your story again, turn and see what’s right here, in this moment.
What do you see?
Can you be grateful and thankful for something in front of you - right now?
This step is important. When we’re stuck in our past, we stop paying attention to the now. We’re not appreciating the moments in front of us, because our minds are filled with our histories.
When we start letting go, we empty our cups and allow them to be filled with the present.
Turn to the present. Find gratitude for what’s here, instead of worrying about what was or could have been.
As we do that, we transform our moments of struggle into moments of joy.