S he appeared to be in her mid-40s , tiny little thing , and possessed an air of confidence and warmth . She was passionately talking to a friend on the phone about how she had just landed and all she wanted was soup from her favorite neighborhood Thai restaurant . I innocently listened as she enthusiastically persuaded her friend to deliver the soup so it would be waiting for her when she got home . She quickly and triumphantly hung up the phone and continued to wait for her bag .
In that moment , I sensed an energy that was kind , open-minded , and charismatic . What did I have to lose ? I turned to her and said , “ You know , I ’ m new here . I actually just moved to the Bay Area about ten minutes ago – I know I have to find something called BART . Do you know where it is ?”
She brightly said , “ Yes ! I ’ m actually headed to Oakland on BART right now , we could go together ?” I was in no position to turn down a personal guide on a new transportation system I knew nothing about and at the very least I could get some local tips from her . We grabbed our bags , hopped on BART and before I knew it , 45 minutes had passed .
In that amount of time , we covered everything from food truck festivals to the Golden State Warriors to Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival to the Silicon Valley uprising – you name it . As I prepared to get off the train , she handed me her card and said , “ Oh ! And the nature is pretty incredible out here . If you ’ re interested , we could go hiking together sometime !”
Two years later , Mimi , my first friend in the Bay Area , completely transformed my experience as a west coast transplant and gave me my first taste of nature which further led to how I molded my identify in the Bay Area . I have successfully become the backpacking , hiking , rock climbing , kayaking , and committed NorCal weekender amongst my community , all because of one question I asked a kind person .
Why share this story ? I think one of the easiest way to swing doors open for ourselves is by 1 ) asking for help and 2 ) talking to strangers . That simple question to Mimi altered my entire experience in the Bay Area as well as my lifelong identity . Psychologist Meg Jay said it best when she noted ,
“ It ’ s simple . It ’ s good to be good . There is a “ helper ’ s high ” that comes from being generous . In numerous studies , altruism has been linked to happiness , health , and longevity — as long as the help we give is not a burden . Most people remember starting out themselves , being helped by those who were further along . Because of this , there is a reserve of goodwill .”
Now that I ’ m traveling and working on the road , my built-in community network is at the Chiang Mai coffee shop next to my apartment or the coworking space C . A . M . P . in the Maya Mall . Invest in others who ask for help and don ’ t hesitate to ask others for help in return . There is a ton of goodwill in this world and people who possess the right energy that makes it silly for us not to ask one simple question .