The Cone Issue #1 Spring 2014 | Page 40

On The Road The sun was out, and briefly the foothills shone with the kinds of amber, goldenrod and khaki that rivaled the coruscating mental boners jolting from my being. Then the clouds huddled above like offensive linemen around the world’s last cheeseburger. The mountains steepened abruptly, footed with eroded scree, and scoured to a funerary grayscale—-ash, gunmetal, slate, glaucous—-and one couldn’t help but be reminded that outside of Asia, these tectonically shifted megaliths are the highest mountain range in the world. The wind chill’s viscous fingers dug through my leather jacket, my helmet, my gauntlets; and what little of my personal atmosphere I could securely enclose was tossed behind me at 50 miles per hour. This Andean reality persuaded me that stamina, thinking good thoughts and an elephantine pair of testicles would do little to prevent my transmogrification into a popsicle on two wheels. "