The Cone Issue #1 Spring 2014 | Page 37

EW! Restaurant Review The pork chop was the size of my hand with outstretched phalanges. I kept demonstrating this size comparison to Mike, and he’s a good enough friend to nod and smile like a supportive parent would with an astonished child seeing a T-Rex skeleton for the first time. Then I tucked into it, slicing almost effortlessly into just enough-fatty border of the chop and placing into mouth the juiciest pi ece of porcine wonderfulness I’ve had in a long time. It was neither chewy, nor gamey. The demon did not reside in this particular farm animal. On the contrary it was evident that this piece of pork was handled with love and care – and it tasted heavenly. To complement the umami of the chop was apple sauce - the de rigueur Costello to the chop’s Abbott. The mashed potato was equally delightful. It was light and fluffy, and gave my mouth the same awesome sensation that my body felt when I used to rock my favorite brown velour Fila jumpsuit back in the day. Smooth, is what I’m saying. I think they also drizzled the potatoes with quality olive oil that lent an appropriate amount of “greenness” to the plate. And finally, like a form of confetti signifying the party that I was about to participate in with this food, there were crispy bits of scallions strewn on top. There was a synergy with the whole thing that made me weep. Kidding. I didn’t weep. But it was delicious and worth falling off the carb wagon for. It was so rich that I couldn’t finish it all. Lame, I know. So Mike took the rest of the mash home with him. I hope I’ve been successful in conveying the fact that having dinner at Salt’s Cure is a pleasurable experience all-in-all. Thank you for your attention. Cheers! 37 THE CONE - ISSUE #1 - 0214