The Black Napkin Volume 1 Issue 4 | Page 14

9

Lost boy / good girl

i am both the doctor and the patient

breaking confidentiality

coaxing my head into something close

enough to better off than dead

flushing the acrid taste of

my own fucked schemas

from my mouth with

booze i parted

my thighs for like

a lukewarm invitation

to stir me from my sleep

i could fall in love with a boy with hands like that

this is not the first time

someone has wrapped them around my throat

asked if i liked being choked

scar tissue spelling out

‘victim’

i could fall in love with a girl with a name like that

she burns bridges

to keep only herself warm

she does not belong to anyone

but something inside me is stirring

at the sight of her in my leather jacket

i wish it was wired in me

to be delicate

take me cream and two sugars

and i will still burn going down

i depend on women to soothe my wounds

and men to split them back open again

let your body be my coffin

i don’t mind feeling spent