9
Lost boy / good girl
i am both the doctor and the patient
breaking confidentiality
coaxing my head into something close
enough to better off than dead
flushing the acrid taste of
my own fucked schemas
from my mouth with
booze i parted
my thighs for like
a lukewarm invitation
to stir me from my sleep
i could fall in love with a boy with hands like that
this is not the first time
someone has wrapped them around my throat
asked if i liked being choked
scar tissue spelling out
‘victim’
i could fall in love with a girl with a name like that
she burns bridges
to keep only herself warm
she does not belong to anyone
but something inside me is stirring
at the sight of her in my leather jacket
i wish it was wired in me
to be delicate
take me cream and two sugars
and i will still burn going down
i depend on women to soothe my wounds
and men to split them back open again
let your body be my coffin
i don’t mind feeling spent