4
it is my own repulsion
that curdles in my stomach
my family is full of
karma Houdinis
that slip from jail
cells
wriggling out of
charges and sentences
their shame is my own
carried in my lungs
like pond water
i drown in my sleep
in my dreams of
teeth and bones
my forehead leans
against the cool glass
of the mirror
streaked with
toothpaste spit
i wonder how
the shards of glass
would feel in my
palms
if the sting would
bring me out of this
trance
i still catch
traces of her
in my features
and i wonder
if her ghost
still lingers
and if she
knows
that i do not blame her