The Beautiful Spirit Magazine Spring 2015 | Page 4

Abundant Grace
HANNAH SCHWEINSCHAUPT

Part Ten

I

t was well past midnight, and all
the chaos of doctors and nurses
rushing back and forth had finally settled
down, causing a certain stillness to seep
into the vacated corridors.
“Dad,” Lexie said softly as she placed a
hand on my shoulder, stirring me slightly
from my sleep. “Dad,” she tried again,
a bit louder. This time, she succeeded
in waking me. I couldn’t help but blink
against the bright lights. As I sat upright
in the metal chair, I winced, feeling every
muscle in my upper body protest. With a
heavy sigh, I looked around the generic
room, taking in the all-too-white curtains
and the nightstand brimming with
medication. Suddenly, I remembered
where I was. Rolling my neck to one side,
my eyes fell on my beloved wife. There,
on the hospital bed, she lay limply. Her
once-bronzed skin now held an ashen
hue. A breathing tube hung beneath her
nostrils while other tubes and wires
surrounded her. Pain then eased into my
heart. She looked so vulnerable. I raised
my hands to my face and slowly rubbed
my eyes, hoping all the while that this
was just a nightmare. But knowing it was
not so, a single tear slid down my cheek.
Reaching out, I grasped her cold hand.
“Anna,” I whispered, begging her to
open her eyes. But as seconds dragged
by, nothing happened. Only the rhythmic
sound of the ticking clock filled the
empty space. Soon, seconds slipped into
minutes…still nothing progressed.
“Dad,” Lexie finally said gently, leaning
down to wrap both of her arms around
me, tightening the hug. “Go stretch your

4 The Beautiful Spirit

Spring 2015

legs for a bit,” she suggested. “I’ll watch
over Mom for a while.”
It was then that I averted my eyes from
Anna to Lexie. In her countenance, I
saw a mixture of emotions: fear, pain
and certainly regret. With another sigh, I
patted her arm and nodded my head. “I’ll
go grab us some coffee. I believe we both
could use a strong cup about now.”
With that, a small yet tired smile appeared
on her face, “Don’t forget I like lots of
cream and sugar in mine.” Remembering
her sweet tooth caused me to chuckle.
“Don’t worry, I won’t,” I assured her as I
got up from the chair, grabbed my wallet
from the bedside table and started to walk
toward the door. While leaving the room,
I glanced over my shoulder and saw that
Lexie had settled herself on the bedside
chair, taking over my vigil. My heart
went out to my daughter as I watched
her grab her mother’s hand. With a shake
of my head, I couldn’t help but fall deep
in thought, as I resumed my walk to the
café downstairs. So many questions were
rushing through my head, begging to be
answered.
Instinctively, I knew that I had to be
patient and wait for God’s perfect timing
to answer each and every one. But now I
was beginning to feel guilty. For the past
six months, I had been halfway across the
United States, separated from my family.
I had stayed focused on my own needs.
Foolishly, I had neglected the needs of
my beloved family.
“God, I regret having left my family,

allowing my work to consume me. If I
could reverse time, I certainly would.”
I prayed aloud before realizing I had
already arrived at the café. Quickly, I
ordered two coffees and returned to the
ward.
Once I reached the room, I paused before
entering, hearing a muted voice sounding
from within. Straining to listen, I slowly
began to recognize that it was Lexie’s
voice. My curiosity got the best of me.
Therefore, I found myself leaning in
the doorway, hesitant to enter. When I
did, my lips parted in surprise at what I
encountered.
There, seated on the edge of the bed
gripping one of my wife’s hands, sat
Lexie. With a bowed head, her shoulders
were slumped in defeat. Tears streamed
down her face.
Silently, I watched as Lexie’s lips moved,
causing the hushed whispers to jumble
her words. I stayed still, staring at the
floor, refusing to allow my own flood of
tears to escape. But as Lexie’s voice grew
in volume, my head instantly responded
by snapping