Team Talk
The Gentlemen’s Club
6 Tips for being a Godly Husband
Learn how to become the husband God desires you to be.
God’s purpose for marriage is to make us more like Christ.
When I applied for a marriage license a year after I had graduated from college, all I had to do was
pay a fee. There was no training, no video and no job description. In spite of the fact that I lacked
many of the fundamental skills on how to make a marriage work, the license was granted!
I know there are many men today who are trying to figure out exactly what God expects of them
as husbands. So I came up with a list of the things I believe are central to being a godly husband.
1. Love God More Than You Love Your Wife
After three years of dating Mary Ann, we began to talk about marriage. A little while later we
broke up. I was devastated.
While praying one night, things became crystal clear: Mary Ann had become an idol in my life. I
cared more about what made her happy than what made God happy. It was as if God were saying,
“You will have no other gods before me, and if you put something or someone else in My place, I
will remove it.” In 25 years of marriage, I still run into the same problem. I keep myself in check
with this question: Whom do I fear more — my wife or God?
The level of pain may be more immediate or more pronounced when I don’t please my wife. Because
when I don’t please God, He doesn’t go into the other room and get silent on me.
But God reminds me, “You do the right thing, even if for the moment it doesn’t make her happy.”
2. Be a Spiritual Leader
Your wife probably came into the marriage with some idealized image of the two of you beginning
each day around the breakfast table with some fresh-squeezed orange juice, doing devotions
together.
She imagined you leaving for work and saying, “I’ll be back this evening, and we can have devotions
again.” About a month into the marriage, your wife was probably thinking, “What happened?
Reading the Scriptures and praying together is so important.” If I could rewind my marriage and
start this practice earlier, I would do it in a second.
No matter how long you’ve been married, now is the time to develop a pattern that can work in your
marriage. Remember, it’s a husband who ought to initiate this.
“A man may not be a vocational theologian,” says Doug Wilson, author of “Reforming Marriage.”
“But in his home, he needs to be the resident theologian.”
3. Lead With Humility
The reason there is such a debate about whether men ought to be leaders in a marriage relationship
is because too many men have not led with humility. Men may be called by God to lead their wives,
but our leadership should be selfless.
Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider
others better than yourselves” (New International Version).
Put this verse into practice, and it will solve 95 percent of the issues you face. I have never met a
woman who says, “I resist my husband’s leadership even though he is very humble and Christlike.”
The women I’ve met are craving godly leadership in their marriages.
4. Have Godly Courage
First Corinthians 16:13 gives a clear definition of biblical masculinity: “Be on your guard; stand
firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.” Before we can be godly husbands, we must be men
of courage.
Wrapped up in that definition of what it means to be a man is the idea of courage.
And the essence of courage is to have such a great fear of God that you fear nothing else.
Continue….
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