Signed Boomerang Ex Syndrome
Dear Boomerang Ex Syndrome
When you ’ re in the early exciting stages of a relationship you naturally want to share the highs ( and the lows ) of being with someone new . Once you invite your family and friends along for the ride , sometimes they may take this privileged access to your personal life a little too far , and you find yourself dreading their inquiries . The remedy is simply to tell them once and for all that part of your life is over , and it ’ s not something you wish to keep reliving . Then promptly change the topic . If they don ’ t get the hint , be a little more firm the next time and tell them you ’ d appreciate if they ’ d move on because you have and / or you ’ ll have to reconsider sharing the next time .
In the future reconsider sharing how much , with whom , and when before divulging the play by play on your next date . It ’ s less likely to come back to haunt you should things not work out .
Dear LFG ,
I like being in control . I ’ ve noticed ( and so has my bf ) that I can be pretty controlling at times . How can I step back and relinquish the need to feel like I always need to be in control of every situation ?
Signed Control Freak
Dear Control Freak
The need to control others is often derived from an insecurity ; that you can only rely on yourself and you lack trust in others . This naturally , spells disaster for a relationship because not only can you not control another person , no one likes it . Since you ’ ve already acknowledged this harmful behavior , the next piece of advice I have for you would be to accept you can ’ t control every outcome and make peace with the idea . So what if he picks a bad restaurant or forgets once in a while to pick up the dry cleaning on his way home if you don ’ t call twice to remind him ? Learn and capitalize on each other ’ s strengths and work out together how to address areas of weakness . Life is unpredictable , and there is beauty and freedom in learning how to adapt .
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