SYLVANUS URBAN Sylvanus Urban - The Space Issue | Page 38

order to reduce the swelling of
the brain, rest is paramount. So,
my best bet was to lie in a dark
room, wearing my sunglasses to
help with light sensitivity, for the
next week, said the doc. Got it.
A week of rest? I can do that, I
thought, even though I’m usually
a pretty active, engaged-in-the-
world homegirl.
The minutes of rest slowly
turned into hours, which very
slowly turned into days of
pounding headaches, nausea,
throwing up, an inability to focus
or concentrate, memory loss
and communication challenges.
These days turned into weeks,
which turned into months.
I quickly learned that you're
not expected to know when a
concussion will end really. The
not accepting and the wishing
for it to go away will only
prolong the symptoms and cause
anxiety so I was told. The sports
medicine clinic specialist.
The
physiotherapist. The osteopath.
All with their expert advice. It was
an exercise in patience and self-
control. It became an exercise in
accepting thine own self. As I was.
In that moment.
In that moment of pounding
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headaches. In that moment of appetite depletion, interspersed with
moments of grateful hunger only to lose that day’s lunch soon after the
last bite in the least attractive way possible, the now-familiar upchuck.
In that moment of prolonging walks the only form of exercise I felt
able to execute until the sun dipped at dusk the time I felt most able
to explore the outside world due to light sensitivity. In that moment of
feeling guilty for checking my phone in spite of knowing that looking at
screens would bring on headaches and nausea (but concussion recovery
can be so isolating that reaching out to friends was necessary). In those
emotional moments since concussions can instigate anxiety, depression
and mood swings. And in those moments of confusion about things I
just couldn’t recall, including words possibly one of the harder aspects
for this journalist.
As a writer, communication, words and stringing together coherent
sentences were my life’s wor