“ You ’ re sick .”
By the end of the night , they were both worse for wear . They stumbled through the street toward Edward ’ s house , where they regularly crashed in the basement , stopping every block or two so one of them could vomit .
“ I ’ m not gon ’ make it ,” said Sean . His private world was dancing to the left and gravity was getting stronger . He was struggling to keep walking , but his legs were like tubes of butter beneath him and kept slipping , buckling , melting under his weight .
“ Yes you are ,” said Edward . “ We ’ re almost there .” “ I just need to sit down for a minute , just for two , one , one minute .”
“ Nope , just keep going .” Edward wriggled himself under Sean ’ s arm and hoisted him onward . At first they almost toppled together , but after a minute they fell into a shambling rhythm in which the forward fall became a propelling motion . As they walked , Sean realized he ’ d vomited on his own boots .
“ We should walk like this more often ,” he said . “ You ’ re a good carrier .” “ Shut up , Sean .”
It was morning , possibly early afternoon . Sean and Edward were sitting in Edward ’ s basement drinking syrupy instant coffee with condensed milk and heaps of sugar . They smoked home rolled cigarettes .
“ I want to kill Arlene ,” said Sean . He was thinking about the drama he ’ d have to face when he got home . There would be questions about last night , about Ed , about where his life was heading . Since his dad ’ s girlfriend had moved in , she ’ d been trying to establish herself as an authority figure in Sean ’ s life . Every day she did something to challenge him , created some kind of imaginary conflict just to establish her dominance a little bit more . “ She ’ s driving me nuts . I just wish I could move out already .” “ We could make another doll ,” suggested Edward , half jokingly .
“ No . Even if it worked , which it wouldn ’ t , it would make my dad miserable . I need to get a job this summer and get out , that ’ s all . It makes me feel like a psycho though , living with her . I actually have daydreams about different ways to kill her . I never used to be that sick .”
“ I daydream about killing people all the time ,” said Edward . “ Like who ?” “ Everybody ,” said Edward . “ I hate people . People are shit . My whole life , people have been fucking with me . I get that I ’ m a bit weird , and that not everybody is going to like me . Okay , I get that . But if you don ’ t like me , just leave me alone . But everywhere I go , people fuck with me . Teachers humiliate me , other kids bully me , my mom used to beat the shit out of me , now she just ignores me . I don ’ t mess with anybody , but I ’ m constantly in trouble or being attacked .”
“ Yeah , I remember that time Chris jumped you , and then his dad came out and blamed you . Then he started wailing on you . You should ’ a pressed charges or something .”
“ Nah , fuck that . I ’ m not about revenge for petty stuff .”
“ I am ,” said Sean . “ I ’ d love to get revenge on Arlene .”
“ It all sticks to you though , doesn ’ t it ?” Edward was staring into space as he spoke , watching the smoke spiral up from his cigarette . “ All the nasty shit people say , every time somebody goes out of their way to hurt you , it stays with you . It ’ s like it changes who we are . Like it stains us .” He turned his attention back to Sean . “ I ’ d help you kill her if you want .” “ Really ?” “ Yeah ,” said Edward . “ You ’ re the only