I was sure that she was younger than me , sexier than me , more fun than me , able to drink more beer than me . Even if she wasn ’ t all that , I needed her to be . She had to be amazing for Jake to throw away a relationship that had lasted longer than five years .
There was no doubt that my life was going to be different now . Obviously , I ’ d moved , but even the things that hadn ’ t changed , like my job or my car , seemed to have been altered . It was like I was looking at them from a different angle , just slightly askew from what I was used to .
By the time I sat down to my frozen dinner , thinking that I was really going to have to get in shape again now that I was single , I had unpacked the majority of the boxes schlepped over from Jake ’ s . They sat in a sad pile down by the dumpster while I collapsed onto the saggy couch and turned on the television .
The house creaked and groaned around me . I knew that old buildings did those sorts of things , but it unsettled me anyway . It sounded like someone was walking back and forth through the walls , watching and waiting . I focused on the figures on the television , mentally kicking myself for having such silly thoughts . Soon enough , the selection of sitcom reruns and news programming available with my rabbit ears had me lulled into a state of dull interest . I knew I should get up and go to bed , but the sofa was surprisingly comfortable .
A soft rapping on the door brought me bolt upright just as though someone had broken the damn thing down . I breathed in and out , straightening my hair with my fingers as I got up . It was probably Mrs . Pritchett , wanting to see how I was settling in . Or maybe it was my neighbor , coming to give me the stern rebuke that I deserved for my earlier behavior .
But it was Jake . He stood on my doorstep with that charming look on his face , the one he used to get me ( and other women , apparently ) to do what he wanted . He didn ’ t ask to come in , but stepped onto the flattened shag as though he lived there .
“ I ’ ve been thinking a lot , Fee . We had a really good thing going , and I messed it up . I want you to move back
in .” He swung the door shut behind him and locked it . My heart shoved itself into my throat , and my stomach dropped down into my feet . It was crazy that someone I had once loved could make me so fearful , but I couldn ’ t help it .
“ No , Jake . We ’ ve done enough talking . Nothing ’ s going to change . It ’ s time we moved on .” The words were the right ones , but even I could tell that they didn ’ t sound convincing .
“ Remember all the good times we had ?” he asked as he advanced on me , steering me into the bedroom simply by using the fact that I didn ’ t want to be near him . “ I might ’ ve made my mistakes ; every guy does it sometime . But I know now that I ’ m ready to come back to you . We can make it work .”
“ Get out of my apartment , Jake .” He already had me through the bedroom door . My mind raced to think of something I could use as a weapon , but the penknife in the drawer of my nightstand wouldn ’ t scare a squirrel .
“ I don ’ t want you here .” We were at the foot of the bed now .
“ I ’ m not leaving .” His lip was curled , and his hands were balled into fists . He wasn ’ t playing nice anymore . “ You and I belong together , and you know it .”
He shoved me onto the bed , and I landed hard . The frame groaned underneath , threatening to give way if I did so much as squirm too much . Jake pounced , his weight heavy as his knees sank into my thighs . The grip of his fingers dug into my arms , pinching the sheets around me . I fought to catch my breath , but he had knocked it out of me and kept it out with his weight .
“ Stop fighting it ,” he growled . “ You want me . I want you . It ’ s easy .” He picked himself up just enough to reach for his belt buckle and my lungs filled with air .
I shrieked with the hope of someone hearing me : the sleepy college girl who was probably back at work right now , Mrs . Pritchett , some wandering hobo , anyone .
Jake swung his fist back to silence me , but he flew off the bed before he ever had a chance to drive it home . I looked behind me . He was stuck to the wall , his back pinned to the wood paneling . His feet weren ’ t touching the floor .