CHAPTER THREE : TELL ME YOUR STORY
SUBMISSION 18
From a young age I ’ ve always hated the way I looked and the way I felt . I was different and a part of me will always want to white and straight . In my early teen years , I embraced my sexuality with a facade that I was confident , I was addicted to cutting myself . When it became too much , I taught myself how to destroy myself completely , I would have sex and have relationships with the worst people so I can teach myself that I deserve nothing . Now I ’ m a little bit better , but I ’ m in a committed relationship now and I can feel the damage I ’ ve done in my life and it ’ s getting harder and harder to heal . I feel like I finally broke myself , and even though I want to mend every broken part of me , I ’ m still suffering .
SUBMISSION 19
I have always known that my father would have a heart attack . This thought haunted me for years . I can ’ t tell you why I held on to this conviction but it ends up that I was right .
His heart attack happened on a Thursday morning . My sister was the one who called 9-1-1 . She is only 17 . I can ’ t begin to imagine the scars she carries after watching her father have a heart attack . My mother wasn ’ t sure if they should go to the hospital but my sister insisted . That phone call saved his life .
His coded three time inside of two hours . We were all at the hospital the third time and heard them call the “ Code Blue ”. What the human body can sustain is amazing .
I am not sure how to feel anymore . Fear has been taken over by something else but I can ’ t put my finger on what that feeling is . Is it relief that it is over and he survived ? Or anxiety that we are on borrowed time ? Or is it hope that the worst has passed ? I guess time will tell .
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