Steel Notes Magazine Steel Notes Magazine - February 2018 | Page 38

It still didn’t seem real, even after they’d claimed the prize and returned home. Avrom wanted to run out and buy a Ferrari, just to prove to himself that it was true. They were all still in a state of shock trying to comprehend how their lives were going to change, talking about things they wanted to buy, places to go. Simon planned to buy every video game ever made, and Rachel was thinking about clothes and cars. She still couldn’t drive for more than two years, but that didn’t matter. Avrom had taken the L.A. Times into the toilet with him. He didn’t usually read in there, but he thought he’d start looking for houses, castles for God’s sake, whatever he wanted. He was still sitting there in his reverie, when he heard, “Avrom.” He looked up, “Oh, God, this is wonderful, incredible. I’ve always had to struggle, I’ve never had any money, but now...” “I have something I want you to do,” said God. “Sure,” said Avrom. “What?” “On the next Shabbat, I want you to wash Simon and wrap him in white cotton. Then take him to Joshua Tree. There I want you to offer me what is mine.” “What?” asked Avrom. “Are you asking what I think you’re asking?” There was no response. “Are you asking me to kill my son?” “Yes.” Came the godfather-like voice. Avrom jumped up. “No! No! No! No!” he screamed, “no fucking way!” Avrom’s throat went dry. His heart ached as if his chest were being crushed; he began to shake with rage, “Take the money, the goddamn mon- ey — hell, I don’t care, but I will not kill Simon!” God tries to reassure Avrom. He tells Avrom that the boy will be better off; he will be with God in eternity. Avrom must trust him, look how powerful God has been in Avrom’s life. Isn’t it selfishness for Avrom to want to keep the boy for himself? That is pointless any- 38 Steel Notes Magazine www.steelnotesmaga zine.com way, “I God can take the boy. I can take you, or any- thing you have, anytime I want to. You are powerless,” says the Lord. Avrom is resolute but silent, and God continues, “Look who I am! I will once again intervene directly in human affairs; I will make my presence dramatically and plainly known. Do as I command and you can lead humanity to fulfillment!” Suzanne was in the garden, watering. She dropped the hose and ran to Avrom when she saw him. He looked terrible, distraught. “What happened?” She asked. Avrom told her what God had asked. “You are insane!” She screamed. “Avrom, I’m calling the police!” But looking into his eyes, which were full of tears, her anger subsided. She realized it was fear causing her rage. She reached out and took him in her arms, holding him tight and sobbing. She knew Avrom wasn’t crazy. Later, inside, they sat on the couch and talked. “You told him no, she said, “So that’s it.” “But this is God,” said Avrom. “I mean, I’m not gong to kill Simon, no matter what, but this is God asking me to do this. Why?” “Shit, Avrom,” said Suzanne, “who cares? You can’t kill your son.” “But why was Abraham willing?” asked Avrom. “I’ve been reading the Bible. Abraham argued with God about other things. He protested when God wanted to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. But he didn’t say a word when God asked him to kill Isaac. He just obeyed.” Avrom looked into Suzanne’s eyes, “was that the right thing to do?” asked Avrom. “I don’t know, ” said Suzanne, reaching out and taking a book from the shelf. “ I think it’s in here. Yeah. Listen to what Immanuel Kant said he would tell God.” She started reading, “Look that I ought not to kill my son is certain beyond the shadow of a doubt. That You, as You appear to be our God, I am not convinced and will never be convinced even if Your voice resounded from