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Steel Notes Magazine non-Jewish men . Why should she care ?
When he had brought her to the houseboat , she ’ d noticed the little statues of Buddha and Krishna , the incense burner and the menorah . “ You have a Hanukkiah ,” she ’ d said . “ But I ’ m Jewish ,” he ’ d answered with that smoky French accent . She had never been with a Jewish man before , but now it seemed important . Not because of religion , but kinship , acceptance , safety .
Anatol had penetrated the walls that had both protected and blocked her off from the world . More than breaking through barriers , more than reaching her or touching her , he had started to become part of her . Even in this short time . Through shared experiences and examples of trust and giving , it was as if thread-by-thread their souls were being woven together . She began to cry . “ Paris , in a month ,” she said again to herself .
Anatol ’ s strength gave her comfort . It made her feel good , and for some reason , proud . She remembered when she ’ d seen that old move , Exodus , where Paul Newman was fighting for Israel ’ s independence , and he said , “ I can feel the blood of King David flowing through my veins .” When Newman had said that , it made her whole body tingle .
God , she wanted to feel that way , too . She needed to feel good about who she really was . Anatol made her believe that she could . His involvement with Feydor disturbed her . It didn ’ t make any sense , didn ’ t at all seem like who he really was . But did her life reveal who she really was ?
Pushing her hands into her pockets , Nikki felt the little Star of David she carried there . Her grandmother had given it to her , and that was the only reason it was precious to her . She ’ d never worn it . She didn ’ t deny her Judaism . She just didn ’ t advertise it .
Deep down inside her , there was that inherited fear of the next Hitler , when another wave of anti-Semitism would wash over the land . Whenever she ’ d see Jews wearing yarmulkes in public , it would send a chill down her spine . “ They ’ re targets ,” she ’ d think , if not for a bullet , at least for hatred and derision . She always remembered the kids at school who ’ d yelled , “ Kike !” and called her Jew girl .
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