State's Attorney | Page 66

sexual abuse Sexual Abuse Child/adolescent sexual abuse is a frightening and devastating experience. The child is the “victim” and the abuser is the “perpetrator.” Child sexual abuse may vary in extent, and in frequency, but even one experience is considered abuse. The most common dynamics of sexual abuse are that the perpetrator is older than the victim (an older child or adult) and the abuser and contact is a “secret” for the victim to keep. Signs/symptoms of sexual abuse include: • • • • • • • • • • • nightmares or night terrors sudden separation anxiety urinary tract infections bed wetting seduction, promiscuity complaints of problems urinating or problems with bowel movements complaints of pain in vaginal or rectal area physical signs, such as cuts, welts, bleeding, or bruises statements of a sexual nature, regarding being touched, hurt, etc. covering up body, as if ashamed (dressing, bathing) secretive in regards to where they were, activities, friendships • • • • • • • • sudden, rather abrupt changes in behavior - a bright, outgoing child becomes quiet, withdrawn, or moody excessive, inappropriate interest in sex, or an extreme fear of sex (inappropriate to that child’s age or development) sudden appearance of unexplained material goods, i.e., money, toys, jewelry fear of bathing or showering sudden weight gain or development of eating disorders depression unusual masturbatory habits victimization/sexual abuse of other children Victims of sexual abuse require help from professionals that have experience in the treatment of childhood sexual abuse. Contact professionals for guidance and assistance. Perpetrators can also be helped, and professionals are skilled in working with them. It is a known fact that if the perpetrator does not receive help, he/she will abuse again. Facing the reality of the abuse and pursuing help can assist everyone in the end. Sexual Orientation Many parents and young people still suffer from a conspiracy of silence about sexuality. Teens are often afraid to talk with parents about sexual concerns because it is not a comfortable subject to discuss, and they do not want their actions to be disapproved of or curtail their freedom. Parents often struggle to initiate conversations about sex because they themselves fear embarrassment, and they also realize that teens are trying to separate themselves from their parents. However, adolescents deserve to discuss sexuality with their parents. They need assistance in critiquing cultural postures toward it. Teens need to be drawn into conversations about sex with someone who can give them responsible advice, a mature perspective, and most importantly, valid information. They need constructive discussions with parents to combat the “sex education” they receive from peers and the media. Suggestions For Parents • Discuss the confusing messages found today in the media and music concerning sex, and how these messages influence our behavior and standards. • Discuss with your teen examples of sexuality without sex, such as hugging, kissing, hand holding, a fond gaze, etc. • Discuss the different reasons for wanting to have sex. • Discuss your own values and beliefs with your child, as well as the responsibilities and consequences that may accompany sexual activity. • Discuss the differences between the sexual pressures men and women face. 62 community outreach - Sexual Abuse