lence resources
bee safe/family vio
What is Family Violence?
Domestic violence happens when one partner/family member attempts to gain power and control over the other using various forms of abuse. These
unhealthy relationships can include physical, emotional/psychological, verbal, economic, and/or sexual abuse. Some examples of different kinds of abuse are:
Physical Violence/Abuse:
• Grabbing or twisting arms/hands
• Hitting with object or fist
• Kicking
• Slapping
• Burning
• Strangling/choking
• Scratching
• Use of weapon (knife, gun, bat)
• Pulling/grabbing hair
Emotional and Physiological Abuse:
• Controlling whereabouts
• Hiding belongings
• Telling partner what to eat and how to dress
• Blaming partner for everything that goes wrong
• Depriving sleep
• Accusing of cheating
• Threatening suicide
• Forcing partner to use drugs and alcohol
• Blackmail
Verbal Abuse:
• Put-downs/insults
• Name calling
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Physical restraint
Punching
Biting or spitting
Throwing things
Depriving basic needs
Pushing
Animal cruelty
Pinching
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Twisting words around
Isolation from friends/family
Making partner think he/she is crazy
Humiliating partner alone or in front of others
Excessive calling or “checking up” on
Intimidation
Manipulation and lies
Destroying personal property/sentimental items
Stalking
Tension Building
Honeymoon
Cycle of Violence
Violent Incident
Cycle of Violence
Abuse is neither constant nor random. There are three phases which vary in time and intensity and tend to occur with increasing frequency and severity if the
cycle is not broken.
Phase 1: Tension Building
This phase is composed of many minor incidents of abuse, including jealousy, tantrums, controlling behaviors, verbal abuse, threats of violence, etc., that
gradually increase in severity. Also, this phase is characterized by the abused partner behaving in ways to avoid conflict and confrontation. Nevertheless, the
tension continually builds until it becomes unbearable and all control by the abuser is lost.
Phase 2: Violent Incident
This phase is characterized by explosive and uncontrollable rage. The lack of control and the element of overkill distinguish this phase from the minor
incidents of Phase 1. Although your abuser may start out by justifying his/her behavior to him/herself, the abuser ends up in a blind rage. His/her original
intent is usually to teach you a lesson and emphasize his/her power, but often the abuser winds up seriously and severely beating you.
Phase 3: Honeymoon Stage
This phase is characterized as calm when the abuser exhibits kind, loving behavior towards you. The abuser knows he/she have overreacted; they are very
sorry; and he/she wishes to redeem him/herself. Since the tension is gone, the abuser asks for forgiveness. Although they honestly believe he/she will not do
it again, the abuser’s reason is that you have “learned your lesson” so there will be no more need to exert the his/her power.
community outreach - Bee Safe/Family Violence
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