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HOW TO HELP A FRIEND
FRIENDS WHO ARE EXPERIENCING DATING VIOLENCE MAY CHANGE.
your friend may:
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Stop spending time with you or other friends.
Lose self confidence.
Change their style of clothing or makeup.
Quit participating in school activities and begin to get bad grades.
Become secretive and stop sharing things with you.
Abuse or begin using alcohol and drugs.
Develop a change in attitude.
Become depressed.
Make excuses or apologize for their partner’s behavior.
If you believe your friend is in a dangerous relationship, talk to someone you trust who can help you reach out. Tell your friend that
you are worried. Do not carry the burden yourself!
BELOW ARE SOME RECOMMENDATIONS ON HOW TO HELP A FRIEND:
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Tell your friend you are worried! Talking about the problem can make a big difference. Be specific about certain incidents you
have witnessed and let your friend know how it made you feel. Express your concern for your friend’s safety.
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Be a good listener! Offer your support and friendship. You are helping your friend to feel heard. Talk in private and most
importantly, don’t be judgmental.
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Encourage your friend to seek help! Provide information on places your friend can seek help. Stress the importance of educating
themselves on dating violence and healthy relationships. Refer them to the provided Web sites. Provide your support and have a
code word with your friend if you ever need to call for help. See resource page for websites and phone numbers.
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Don’t turn your back on your friend! Although it may be difficult to watch, your friend may be scared to leave the relationship.
Don’t make your friend choose between you and the relationship. Acknowledge the fear and help them to seek help without
putting your friend or yourself in danger.
REACHING OUT TO A FRIEND WHO IS ABUSING SOMEONE
If you have a friend who is an abuser and you feel safe talking to him or her about it, here are some tips to keep in mind:
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Explain that you are still the person’s friend, but that you don’t like it when he or she is abusive to someone.
Do not accept the abuser’s excuses for the abuse. Say clearly that abuse is never okay.
Encourage the friend to find a counselor whom he or she can trust. Offer to go with him or her to meet the counselor.
When you see your friend treat his or her partner with respect, acknowledge and praise the good behavior.
Do not