Ugly Australians
However, while Steyn can be seen nearly destroying the stumps and doing his best impression of a tradie firing up a chainsaw when he takes a wicket, it is rarely directed at the batsman himself. It is hard to remember a team indulging so excessively in the send-off - ugly at the best of times, down right rude at its worst - than this group of Australians.
For mine, this Australian team contains too many classy cricketers to need to indulge in such classless behaviour. For what it’s worth, as a Pom, my two favourite Aussie cricketers today are Ryan Harris and Chris Rogers. Sure, both are feel-good stories but they are also the most decent characters on show by some way. Rogers looks positively uncomfortable when the slanging matches start, while Harris claimed he was embarrassed that he’d resorted to a sledge in the first test in Centurion. How refreshing.
Boys, the send-off is your team at its worst. Congrats, you’ve done the job, you’ve got the wicket. Celebrate it for the achievement that it is, don’t give him a volley of abuse as he walks away. What’s the point? For now, that guy you’ve got out is no longer part of the game.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a sledge. There are plenty of ways to show fight, fire and passion without calling your opponent a “f**ken c**t”,though. If you’re going to sledge, use a bit of wit to do so - you’ve all got that in your locker. Pick your targets wisely (talking to you, Patto) and make it look like you’re actually having the “banter” you say you are, not like you’re trying to start a bar brawl. A good start with this is to leave the finger-pointing out, it’s bloody ugly. If an opponent gives it to you, by all mean give it back but you’re not required to - it is possible to rise above the dross (look at Buckie). Equally, when you’ve given it out, don’t get upset when it comes flying back with interest. Oh, and if you’re gonna sledge, do it away from the stump mic. Your mum can hear you!
Pup, for all your random leg-slips, inventive bowling changes and courageous innings of recent times, the finest move you’ve made all summer is that post-match press conference in Cape Town. Owning up, acknowledging your embarrassment about your actions and apologising was brave and did you many a favour. Stick up for your boys, by all means, just don’t let yourself down and set a bad example doing so. There are, as I’m sure you’ve been told, kids watching, and you are their hero. Do them justice. It would be nice if next time you didn’t have to make an apology at all. If you didn’t shout at an opposing tail-ender or berate an umpire. You’re a better bloke and a better cricketer than that.
Cricket doesn’t have to be played like tennis, where they all seem to love each other. I don’t want that. I want fiery cricket and thrilling theatre with digs flying around and sarky comments flowing. Right now, Australia isn’t doing that. They claim to respect their opponents but their behaviour doesn’t match. If they can find a way to replace their nasty, distorted, sweary, finger-pointy idea of “banter” with some dictionary definition banter to match their exhilarating cricket, we’re in for something special.
''Opponents are going to be far more perturbed by the bombs that Mitchell Johnson is hurling at them, not the faces he’s pulling or the nonsense he’s spouting.''
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