SPLICED Magazine Issue 02 Dec/Jan 2014 | Page 66

SPLICED LIFE / ISSUE 02 COLUMN "The intention of causing awareness through offence and starting debate was always there, but something far bigger and rather upsetting happened: I realised for the first time what it's like to be a female cosplayer." in my life, I got a genuine glimpse into what it must feel like to be a female cosplayer. It was awful. It was humiliating and frankly, pretty stressful. simple question: "Why is it that you come to rAge, EXPECTING women to dress like this, but when a guy does it, it's the most disgusting thing you've ever witnessed?" The expectation of women in society is already ridiculous and fraught with archaic and outdated ideas of what a typical 'female' should be. Now imagine the added pressure of dressing up as one of your favourite characters and being brave enough to wear that costume all day at a convention filled with cloying, assumptive and salacious men, intent on exploiting the typical ethical boundaries that usually exist in public. As an average guy with a way beyond average lack of shame it takes a lot to humiliate me – chalk it up to stubbornness, stupidity or a grand mixture of both. This changes pretty quickly when you can literally feel dozens of pairs of eyes on your back, feel the thoughts behind them - the initial appraisal, the glance at the inadvertently unshaven butt cheeks and then the absolute disgust that follows, it's a special kinda low. There were things said and done that were just not cool... Some things were flattering: "That lady [me] has such nice legs!" Some were tacitly humorous (getting a R10 note stuck down my top) and others were just upsetting (between the name-calling and obscene amounts of groping, spanking and touching, you can get an idea). And for the first time 66 Have you ever truly felt ashamed of your perceived gender identity? I did. The reputation of the average male was made mud to me in a matter of minutes. It's no wonder that male con-goers are regarded as blight and filth, because that's what you look like from an outsider's perspective. It's also pretty funny how quickly the paradigm shifted when I sported my "Equal Opportunity Objectification" sign. That's when I got smiles, I got understanding, I even got cheers or sympathy for my cause. My one man in woman's clothing campaign became real. And suddenly the shame and hurt was abandoned in favour of empowerment. I still got leered at, still heard awful comments, but that didn't matter, because people saw my message and understood it for what it was. The so-called 'booth-babes' were especially keen to grab me for photos, to prove a point, to have a laugh, whatever their reasons. It's interesting that I was approached for almost double the amount of photos that were taken of me dressed as Deadpool. The most interesting thing though, was that I received genuine, heartfelt apologies from some of the people. This is a paraphrase of a message that I received on Facebook a few days after rAge: "Dude I just want to apologize, when I saw you on Sunday I had the same reaction most of the a**holes had, I feel like a total ass now that I know why you were dressed like that, again majorly sorry for my reaction." That day, Hawkeye used his booty for great good. Now, if you want a good laugh, please visit the fantastically funny Hawkeye Initiative blog: http://thehawkeyeinitiative.com/