SPLICED GAMING /
ISSUE 02
FEATURE / GAMING STRETCHES
03
Spell caster
stance stretch – both
hands held out in front of
you, spreading the fingers as
wide as possible and stretch out
for 30 seconds. (Necromancers,
mages and conjurers all lay
claim to this superb spell
casting stretch, its origins
are not known).
04
Assassin’s leap of
faith – no tall buildings
for this one unless you have
completed the ten year apprenticeship
of the Assassin Order. Stand with feet
hip distance apart. Arms lifted out to sides,
about 100 degrees. Stretch them gently
backwards with shoulders relaxed (away from
your ears). While holding the stretch go up
onto your toes and lower to your heels ten
times. Assassins hardly ever had blood
clots, whereas gamers definitely
are more at risk especially over
those long bouts of LAN
gaming.
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06
05
06
05
Ryu’s Hadouken
wrist extension – one arm
straight out in front of you
with fingers pointing up towards
the ceiling, grab your fingertips
with the opposite hand and
pull back gentling holding for
30 seconds. Repeat on
opposite side.
04
06
The Chocobo
shake – arms loosely
at side and gently shake
out the wrist, elbows and
shoulders for 30 seconds (the
funky chicken was said to have
stolen this from the Chocobo
homeworld; that pillow fight
goes on to this day).
04
This tome of stretches is no
replacement for a consultation with a
member of your local physiotherapy
magi council. Repetitive strain injuries
can draw on your power leaving you
defenseless in the face of an enemy
onslaught. There was a spate of
overzealous gamers hitting imaginary
objects with their Wii remotes giving
themselves rotator cuff injuries in their
shoulders. No hero ever made it to their
final confrontation without a friendly
apothecary or physio-magi.
These select stretches can be done
gently as needed but are recommended
at least once in a gaming session. A
good rest from gaming should be about
5 minutes every hour; a gentle walk,
wrestling matches with your brother or
getting some hydration for those tired
muscles will do.
Do some stretches. Keep moving.
Your character will appreciate it.
You did save right? Well come on
lets reload, load up on a physio power
up token and kick the crap out of that
boss. Like a boss.
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