Pregnancy & Birth
Good-bye Office
Suzanne Newman, mum to Brock (4 years old) and Eva (3 years old), speaks from her experience surviving the transiton from career to full time parent
The transition from working professional to full time parent can be quite a bumpy ride and surprisingly difficult. There’s no dress rehearsal, however there are some practical things that you can do to prepare yourself for the change or cope with it after your baby is born.
Try to keep post-baby plans fluid
Many parents-to-be fantasize about leaving work to go on leave. Unrealistic expectations can mean a big gap between what you think you’ll achieve and what’s possible while looking after your newborn.
The shock that many of us get when maternity leave isn’t quite what we expected can be huge and a struggle to overcome. While some pre-planning may be useful, it makes sense to keep plans fluid or looser than you would ordinarily. Whatever you do, consider your options carefully. If you don‘t need to give your full commitment to something in advance, then put yourself down as a maybe.
Keep your return-to-work options open
Many of us feel differently ‘on the other side’ to how we thought we’d feel. Many new mums have confided that instead of wanting to rush back to work, they have pretty much forgotten that side of themselves and can’t think of anything worse. Others can’t wait to get back to work, often to their surprise.
There’s no harm in keeping your return options open, don’t over-commit before you have the baby. Dealing with the extra pressure to return within a short space of time after the baby is born simply because you hinted you would before leaving is a situation that is best avoided.
If you work for a large organisation they might offer you parental support or you could ask other mothers inside or outside your company what their experience has been. If you aren’t offered support you could talk to your HR team or enquire locally.
Waiting for baby to arrive
Being on leave before your baby arrives can be an odd time. You’re no longer at work but it can feel like you should be. It can be tricky to let go and hard to wind down, a bit like heading off on holiday after a particularly busy time. It can also open the door to worry that you’re not ready for your change in circumstances.
However, this can be a wonderful time to kick back and enjoy your own company. Perhaps get some last minute prep done or complete the odd job around the house that you have been meaning to get around to, catch a movie that you haven’t had time to see or just potter around your favourite shops.
Indulging in me-time and accepting a slower pace can help smooth the transition and is a good way to check in with yourself before you become a parent and your focus shifts to your newborn.
This is also a good time to talk about household expectations with your partner to make sure that you are both on the same page. It’s a topic worth revisiting after your baby arrives once you’ve experienced the first few weeks at home, get a feeling for what you can both manage and how responsibilities are best split.
Practical tips for overcoming transition wobbles
-go at your own pace -don’t over commit
-build a local support group
-don’t be afraid to accept offers of help
-get out of the house,
give yourself purpose and get some fresh air
-take care not to set unrealistic expectations