Sonder: Youth Mental Health Stories of Struggle & Strength | Page 87

Tearing down the walls
By Grace Ura
Not long ago this is what I thought….
…. I have a bit of sanctuary.
All around my heart walls were built of cold, hard, gray, stone.
Pillars that hold a roof of steel.
Just a little while ago I would of said,
“No ma’am the room around my heart is to keep myself safe”.
But I realize that what I meant to say was,
“No ma’am please take a step back and see!
Behold! I built this prison to protect the ones I love.”
I would never consider spending so much time on myself.
I reinforced these walls with poison filled words and hate -
Aimed at none other than myself,
Because I was afraid that if the pillars were to fall
The walls would crumble,
And the roof would cave in.
I would cause more trouble than I’m worth…
But I was ok with that, because
I covered the outside with beautiful drapes and illusions.
Thinking that if I let anyone in
I would consume them.
I was afraid to let the ones I loved in.
I couldn’t love myself because of the poison that I had become….
This was hard to live with, hard to be.
But now I know that the hardest thing that I ever did
Was tear down those walls,
To let someone in.
I am proud of it,
Because now I can enjoy the beautiful new tapestries that I made,
Knowing that I am loved unconditionally by myself. ●
Resilience  85