Sonder: Youth Mental Health Stories of Struggle & Strength | Page 57

cross country team was waiting for me. I tried to show no emotion, tried
to appear strong, but something happened inside of me and I could not
hold back any longer. Time went on and the emotional stress became less
difficult after the first time I let my emotions flow.
Early that same December my step-dad became very ill and was
hospitalized. It took a full week before he was released from the hospital.
Appearing to have nothing wrong with him, he opted to stay home while
my mom, sister, and I left to go to an indoor track meet. We traveled to
stay with my Nana so we could leave for the meet the next morning. I got
up, took a shower and then my mom came down the stairs with tears and
a look that said she was about to break down. We all sat on the couch with
her as she told us that my step-dad, who had been a father to me, had
passed away sometime in the night. Exactly four months to the day that my
friend committed suicide. Now my father-figure had gone to heaven as well.
I tried hard to bundle my anger, regret, and fear.
In every aspect of my life, I kept on bundling up my emotions which in part
lead me to break down, and I was later diagnosed with depression. Everyone
has stories of losing loved ones, but not everyone barricades their emotions
and pushes away the people they love, like I do. Let your emotions flow,
otherwise you could end up like me, taking prescribed pills just to numb the
pain and to appear somewhat happy. Emotions are something that can’t be
bundled up forever and need to be let out. I decided to visit a therapist and
she helped me to better understand how to let my emotions flow from me. ●
Depression  55