Sonder: Youth Mental Health Stories of Struggle & Strength | Page 21

Light at the End of the Tunnel
By Jaelynn Walters
“We don’t even know how strong we are until we are forced
to bring that hidden strength forward. In times of tragedy,
of war, of necessity, people do amazing things.”
— ISABEL ALLENDE
Throughout all the let downs, disappointment, lies, regrets, anxiety, and depression
I managed to stay strong fighting to survive. I feel like my life started to get bad
when my mom and step dad got married. At first, we lived the life of a happy, aspiring
family, and that was all I could ever ask for. Life started to get really bad when my
step dad started drinking and becoming violent when he was intoxicated. The only
thing I remember was my mom and step dad fighting constantly. As the fights and
alcohol started to increase my mom turned to drugs. She often claimed that she
only tried it once, until addiction became a part of her life. One of the main reasons
why my mom started doing drugs was not only my step dad, but because of me, my
brother, and sister. Whenever we were all going through a hard time we blamed and
punished her by yelling at her. We even threatened to take our own lives because we
were so tired of the life we were living. My mom would lie to us by saying she stopped
doing drugs and I truly believed her. I started to become suspicious when random
people started coming over to our house. At first, I thought they were her friends, but
they just wanted drugs. I felt betrayed and couldn’t believe anything anymore.
After a year went by, little things started to happen. Just when I thought my life couldn’t
get any worse, my mom went to jail in 2017 for a month and a half. We lost our home
and I was homeless by myself bouncing from couch to couch at friend’s houses. I
finally found shelter with one of my mom’s old drug friends who came over our house
long ago. I liked her a lot and related her to a sister figure. Even though she made bad
choices that I didn’t agree with, she took care of me. She did bad things with men, so she
could have money in her pocket to feed me and buy gas money to take me to school.
Half the time I did not go to school because the nearest school was 30 minutes away.
I got bullied and I was suicidal. Everyone left me, even my best friend.
Abuse, Addiction, & Loss  19