Solutions October 2018 | Page 40

getting her feet underneath her, I hustled as a way of life. I looked forward to the minute when my kids drifted off to sleep because finally, I could get some work done. If my candle had had sixty ends, I would have burned them all; I believed in Noonday’s mission that much. And while I honestly wouldn’t trade those glory days for anything in the world, I recognize how unsustainable they were in the end. This business was my fourth baby; could others be trusted to keep it alive? In Guatemala, a weaver’s most valuable possession is her backstrap loom, a portable weaving device that can be worn on the hips while the weaver goes about her daily life. Some of the most beautiful pieces I’ve seen have been weaved this way, and yet if you focus on the backside of the woven fabric, all you’ll see is a tangled mess of zigzaggy colors, stray strings, and knots. It’s when you turn it over that you see how those threads have come together to form a breathtaking design. And so it goes with our lives. You may think this season you’re in will last an eternity— and when that season involves dirty diapers, do I ever feel your pain. I spent a few years of adulthood persistently damp either from using baby wipes to blow my nose or from using nursing pads to dam me up. That season is hard. And yet, it’s still a season: it’s here, and then it’s gone. My start-up season needed to be gone now. My leadership needed to mature. And so, over time, I added back in monthly therapy appointments. I showed up at the gym again. I stashed my iPhone and laptop in an out-of-reach spot from 5:00 p.m. until the next morning. And the net effect of these important practices was that by pulling back in In truth, it was time to look in the rearview mirror and put the pedal-to- the-metal start-up lifestyle behind me before it utterly ran me down. I needed to transition out of the sprint phase of the start-up and into the marathon phase of the growing company. If I’ve learned anything across the past seven years, it’s that the twists, turns, and trials that we begrudge in the moment serve a significant purpose in the end. If I’ve learned anything across the past seven years, it’s that the twists, turns, and trials that we begrudge in the moment serve a significant purpose in the end. Looking back, I see that during those early years I was not practicing wise pacing and I didn’t even know what wise pacing was. Even after Noonday could afford to pay other people a salary, letting go and delegating was an entirely different story. I feel like writing an apology note right now to some of our first team members. So. Many. Midnight. Texts. “Did you remember to get that done?” I’d write. “Are you sure that everything’s on track?” And then, that team’s all-time favorite: “Let’s go in this new creative direction for the shoot that is tomorrow.” 40 • Solutions “