Solutions October 2018 | Page 29

we feel ashamed of what we’ve done or who we’ve become. It’s just that most of us never make the news. 3. You Fail to Follow Through on What You’ve Said Another sign of compromise is when you commit to things that you never end up doing. That may be a common human condition, but it intensifies as you compromise more and more. ot hypocrisy in others, see it in ourselves. dge ourselves by our eople by their actions.” Sure, you say you want to get together with your parents and siblings, but your real priorities have shifted. You promise to meet up soon because that’s what decent people say, but you just don’t deliver. Similarly, you told your team the report would be done by a certain deadline, but it wasn’t. You were just too preoccupied with other things. You promised your spouse a date night, but it never happened because, once again, you got slammed with more urgent matters. No big deal, you say? If you think your lack of follow-through involves only little things not worthy of a second thought, just know that this is exactly how compromise begins. 4. You Justify Your Bad Actions and Decisions There’s a certain point when you compromise regularly enough that you decide to stop apologizing and instead start justifying. There’s a reason you are the way you are. Everyone in your field behaves the way you do; to change would mean you’d lose. You can’t help it that your marriage has grown cold; it happens to all couples. Your irritability is because of the overwhelming pressure you’re under; there’s nothing you can do about it. And your greed, well, you deserve something good after how hard you’ve worked; who could fault you for that? When you start justifying your bad behavior and decisions, you begin to believe your condition is inevitable. You shift blame to circumstances “beyond your control.” You convince yourself that if others were in your shoes, they would be just as cynical, unhappy, and compromised as you Solutions • 29