Solutions June 2018 - Page 46

And have you felt this sense of disorder and brokenness creating insecurity in you? Have you ever allowed your own practice of comparison to do this to others? The Causes of Comparison Where does this need to compare ourselves with others come from? Where does this congenital affliction of the soul find its roots? Looking closely at ourselves, at our hidden thoughts, deepest affections, and usual behaviors, we can identify several underlying causes of comparison. Identity One cause is our misplaced sense of identity. All of us have been confused at one point or another about where we derive our identity from. We receive part of it from our parents, part of it from our peers as we grow and interact, part of it from friendships and romantic relationships, and part of it from our workplaces. Small parts of us have been deeply shaped by the experiences and encounters we have had in life. But our culture makes it hard to rightly order our identity so that we know, at a foundational level, who we truly are. This lack of a solid center results in our putting identities on and taking them off depending on whom we are around. We feel the need to continually reinvent ourselves to keep up. We want to appear successful in the ways our culture demands, and it can be exhausting. Pretending to be doing well; posting only images of fun, glamor, and excitement on social media; and telling only the parts of our story that preserve our glowing image are a kind of modern armor, protecting our fragile hearts. We are terrified to be seen for who we are, where we are, and what we are actually struggling with. Fear of Missing Out Another cause of comparison is our fear of missing out. Because we live in have been given a new “ We identity and a new call