Solutions June 2018 - Page 12

members, volunteers, a coworker, or our own children, they see and know far more than we realize. I first learned this principle when our church was small and I was able to do some counseling. Whenever I met with a struggling couple, I would ask them to tell me about their families of origin. Without fail, they would tell me lots of things their parents had no idea they knew about. This was true even in households where the parents worked hard to hide stuff. Whether it was a porn stash, a secret habit, debt collectors, closed- door arguments, infidelity, or any other carefully concealed secret or vice, the kids always knew. They just never let on they knew. And more often than not, the things their parents thought they had hidden well ended up being a major contributor to the mess their kids were in years later. Even our best-kept secrets seldom remain secrets for long. People talk. a secret as long as two of them are dead is true. Eventually, almost everything will come to light. Which is one reason I try to live my life by the newspaper rule: if I can’t live with something being on the front page of the local newspaper, I just don’t do it. RATE THIS ARTICLE The old axiom that three people can keep Larry Osborne Larry Osborne is a teaching pastor at North Coast Church in northern San Diego County. North Coast is widely recognized as one of the most influential and innovative churches in America. Osborne speaks extensively on the subjects of leadership and spiritual formation. His books include Sticky Teams, Sticky Church, 10 Dumb Things Smart Christians Believe, and Spirituality for the Rest of Us. He and his wife, Nancy, live in Oceanside, California. 12 • Solutions