Solutions June 2016 - Page 25

moments later I fell to the ground as these very words plowed into my personal world: “Tammy, we’ve found Trent and he has not survived.” Trent was gone. Just like that. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t see. And all that would come out of my mouth was, “What happened? What went wrong? What part of the plan didn’t work? What part of my prayers didn’t work? Trent Baby, what happened? Jesus, what happened?” Then, the unthinkable, I was given the news that my family was grounded on planes all across the country and could not get to me when I so desperately needed them. I cried out to God and a miracle happened. I received a phone call. My father-in-law had landed on the Island of Jamaica in the early morning hours of September 11th, before America was attacked and he was now making his way over to me. He arrived safely and although I was extremely grateful for him, I must admit, I longed deeply for my mom to hold me like only a mother can. The next ten days that followed were almost unbearable as my family was stuck in America and I was stuck in Jamaica. Looking back now, I know those were very critical days for me. Days that would mold and shape my faith and bring me to the very presence of God and His existence in my life. And it was something that I would have to rely on by myself for years to come. You see, in our life together, if the answers didn’t come soon enough from God, I’d run to Trent for help. Now that Trent was gone, I was looking to my family for help. To save me, to rescue me, to comfort me. But I knew that God, in His sovereign way, allowed me to face those days alone without the help of my family so that I would look to Him to save me, to rescue me, to comfort me. It was at those moments I could feel Him putting my life back together again. Just knowing He was real was the start. Some days I still feel like I’m standing on the edge of the water. A piece of my heart will always be there. But I can honestly say that almost 15 years later, I am so thankful for healing in my life. That kind of restoration can only come from a real, loving, living God. I chose Christ years ago for better or for worse. It’s just like a marriage, when you commit your love and life to someone till death do you part. I committed my life to Christ as a teenager when I said, “I do.” There’s been better in my life and it’s so easy to serve and follow Christ during those times, but when the very worse blew into my life and brought me to my knees that speechless afternoon, I knew that the only one I could turn to was Jesus…while on my knees. There was strength in that moment at my weakest hour. Because I have Christ, I have hope and because of that hope, Trent is now a part of my future, not my past. What a promise that the world could never offer me. But Christ did. A future. I love telling people that around the world. It’s not so