boundaries, otherwise, it too often is
oversharing, gaslighting, or an attempt
to hotwire a connection. So in my
office, and with my clients, I used self-
disclosure when appropriate, safe, and
in service of moving the client forward.
When my clients knew they were talking
to someone who not only taught the
work but also practiced the daily work
they got better faster.
Quite simply, the connection through
and because of struggle inspired the
change required to heal.
What if we didn’t armor up? What if
we learned and practiced the skills of
courage? What if we sat at the well
with them, and also, allowed them to
sit with us?
It will be our struggles, and our grief,
most especially our work in and
through the healing, that will draw
people to us, and ultimately to Him.
The yearning He wired us all with, the
need for relationship, and the draw to
His hope is where our healing lies. Still,
we must grab our brave to do our own
work and walk it out for the world to
see.
The thing about grief is that it leaves so
much wondering, wanting, and empty.
Oftentimes we feel like we don’t have
the words to wrap around it.
8 • Solutions
And, much like shame, when we do not
speak, the darkness only grows.
We can speak the unspoken and ride
the forever waves of grief or we can
stay silent, withdrawn, and allow the
wave to beat us to the ocean bottom.
Grief doesn’t get better; it gets different.
And we all have a choice of what we do
with the story He is writing for us, do
we allow it to define everything of who
we are or do we pick up the pen and
write with Him?
Because when we write with Him we
know that there will be some waves that
we ride all the way into the shoreline.
There will also be those waves that we
end up choking on saltwater with our