Soltalk July 2018 | Page 28

Jottings

News from the UK and around the World compiled by Dave Jamieson
... the wild , the wacky , the wonderful , the weird and the downright infuriating
Culinary chaos
June was a month of political upheaval in Spain , a month dominated by the World Cup in Russia and a month ( yet another month ) of Brexit negotiations . But for the Jottings team , it was a month of culinary shocks and confusion .
First , Sweden ’ s official Twitter account dropped a meatballs bombshell with a Tweet stating that the scrummy dish is , “ actually based on a recipe King Charles XII brought home from Turkey in the early 18th century .” One devastated meatballs fan responded , “ My whole life has been a lie ,” while Ikea feared a takings downturn in their cafés .
Then , we heard that the catering department in the House of Commons dining rooms has upset MPs by changing the name of one of Britain ’ s favourite traditional puddings . Henceforth , diners at the sign of the portcullis will be able to order Spotted Richard , but not Spotted Dick .
Tesco were reportedly first to rename the pud , claiming that female shoppers were “ embarrassed ” by the original name . However , former UKIP leader Nigel Farage described the Westminster move as “ PC baloney ,” while Michael Fabricant , Lichfield ’ s flamboyant Conservative MP , said ; “ Call a dick a dick , I say !”
Finally , in what would be the most heinous culinary crime of the 21st century , we found out that Heinz are considering renaming Salad Cream . They claim that nowadays it is used mostly in sandwich fillings and are threatening us with Heinz Sandwich Cream instead . Salad Cream was launched in 1914 and is the UK ’ s fifth biggest-selling table sauce in 2017 , but the condiment now faces joining the lost world of Marathon chocolate bars , Opal fruits and Jif kitchen cleaner .
Tomato sauce isn ’ t poured only over tomatoes , and Daddie ’ s Sauce can be used by Mummies as well , so what does it matter if Salad Cream doesn ’ t often drown our salads any more ? As one Twitter user said , “ Lettuce keep Salad Cream !”
Talking of food , we hear that a school in
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