Jottings
guide to adult life.
Meanwhile, PeanutButterGate has hit
the BBC! Shortly after the staff canteen
in central London introduced a
maximum of six chips per serving (yes,
really), a worker complained that she
had been charged £1 for a scraping of
butter and peanut butter onto two slices
of toast she had brought from home.
(That’s as in “brought from home.” Why
would you? It’s a canteen. They are able
make toast there, you know.)
Go to a restaurant and take your own
wine, and you’re almost certain to be
charged corkage. Take your own toast to
a canteen, but don’t complain when
they charge you to help pay for the
heating, lighting, cleaning, washing-up,
staff costs and the rest. Little Miss
Snowflake already walks amongst us.
Foot-in-mouth
Angus Forbes, the Conservative
candidate in Perth, was being
questioned at a hustings in the town last
month when someone asked why there
were five food banks in the area. Forbes
agreed that poverty was “awful” but
pointed out that he has also seen food
banks, “near my holiday home in
Spain.”
Jonathan Mason, the Head Teacher at
Belton Lane Primary School in
Lincolnshire banned students from
sending each other Christmas cards last
month. The move, he said, was
prompted by the children’s concerns
about the impact on the environment of
the amount of paper used. However, in
a classic foot-in-mouth moment,
instead of emailing his decision to
parents, Mr Mason sent them a letter.
Mind your language
A psychology lecturer and
psychotherapist says “divisive and
humiliating” anti-IQ insults can have
negative effects that last a lifetime. Dr
Sonja Falck wants phrases like “smarty
pants” banned to protect the two per
cent of the UK population with the
highest IQs.
According to the good doctor, eight
years of her research has revealed that
potentially offensive descriptions
include “brainiac” “know-it-all” “smart-
ass” “dweeb” “geek” and “brain box.” She
even wants these to be covered by hate-
crime legislation.
“Those with extreme intelligence should
receive the same respect, acceptance
and legal protection as the LGBT
community and other minority groups,”
25
she claims, describing such terms as,
“the last taboo.” Little Miss Clever-
Clogs?
Christian parents of children at
Whitehall Primary School in Chingford
were appalled last month to find that
teachers had edited the words of
favourite hymns so that pupils of all
beliefs could join in without being
offended. The final line of “Away in a
manger” replaced “Little Lord Jesus”
with “baby boy Jesus,” while in another,
the words, “New King born today”
became “a baby born today.”
Head teacher Zakia Khatun defended
whipping out her blue pencil by
claiming that 12 months earlier, 60
children had not attended the school’s
carol service because of their religious
beliefs. However, at a parents meeting,
she was told very bluntly that, while
other religions should be respected, it
was apparently, “OK to exclude
Christians.”
A woman from Plymouth caused a
furore on Facebook last month when
she referred to the book “Father
Christmas” by Raymond Briggs. She
says she was then “shamed” by other
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