surely we can’t simply ignore how things
used to be because it doesn’t sit happily
with current thinking? Mind you, the
shop didn’t help its cause by using the
N-word to describe the money boxes
which were first made in the 1930s.
Anti-racism charity Hope not Hate
described the items as, “outdated,
outmoded and offensive,” adding, “The
owner will say these are antiques, but
we’re not in that time now.” So what
time are we in now? A time to rewrite
history?
Boys in Blue
An elderly woman has been questioned
by Thames Valley Police over a perceived
“hate crime” after honking her car horn at
a coloured motorist who was holding her
up at a petrol station. No further action
was taken, unlike a motorist in central
Scotland some years ago.
He was arrested in Stirling and held in a
cell for two days after being accused by a
Muslim couple of revving his engine “in
a racially aggravated manner.” He was
fined £150 for breach of the peace, but
faced up to three months in jail if the
racial hate crime could have been
proven.
Christmas crackers
The Advent Calendar has been a festive
tradition for years. One of the windows
in the calendar is opened on each day
leading up to Christmas, with a small
gift, such as a toy or chocolate, revealed
for the user. The charming annual
practice was introduced by German
Lutherans in the 19th and 20th centuries
but has now been hijacked by
commercial interests.
Amongst the many Advent Calendars on
sale in the UK this Christmas are those
dispensing a daily sachet of Nespresso
coffee, a mini-tub of Pringles, a cheese
selection, assorted flavours of pork
scratchings, samples of jams and
marmalades and even bottles of wine.
Even if these could vaguely be linked to
the festive spirit, we fail to understand
the seasonal significance of an Advent
Calender offering 24 pairs of socks
(from John Lewis at £149,95) or another
which is calorie free, but is ideal for DIY
enthusiasts: Wera screwdriver elements
including a VDE Kraftform handle with
eight blades and a ¼ inch Rapidaptor bit
holder plus a handy storage pouch and
glow-in-the-dark bottle opener (just
£47.59 from Trade Counter Direct).
Things you didn’t know
yesterday
Wombat poo is cube shaped and
scientists have just found out why.
Apparently wombats produce 100 such
cubes every day and pile them up to
mark their territory. After extensive
research, the Georgia Institute of
Technology announced last month that
being cube-shaped stops the poo from
rolling away. Now you didn’t know that
yesterday, did you?
They walk amongst us
A couple from Banbury, Oxfordshire,
have been convicted of belonging to a
banned far-Right group. The giveaway,
apparently, was naming their son after
Adolf Hitler.
When a gang raided an e-cigarette shop
in Belgium at 3.00pm one day last
month, the owner told them to come
back later when there would be more
money in the till. They agreed and
returned. Twice. First at 5.30pm when
the owner told them to come back an
hour later, which they did. Five suspects
were then arrested by plain clothes
police officers.
A thief trying to break into a restaurant
in Maryland threw a brick at a plate glass
window three times in an effort to
smash it. Twice it bounced off
harmlessly. The third time, it bounced
off and struck him on the head leaving
him flat out on the ground.
Spare a thought for ...
... a New Mexico man who has been shot
and injured by his pet dog. On the way
to a jackrabbit hunt, Charlie, a 120-
pound Rottweiler mix, slipped and got
his paw caught in the trigger of a
shotgun and fired it at his unsuspecting
owner. The victim said the animal
“didn’t mean to do it” and is “very
loving.”
... a 102-year-old man from Devon who
became stuck on his roof for three days.
Ron Easton is thought to have climbed a
ladder up on to the flat roof of his home
extension to fix his TV aerial. After a
milk lady raised the alarm, fire fighters
got him down and he was airlifted to
hospital where he was reported to be in
a stable condition.
... dog owners in the Chinese city of
Wenshan who can no longer walk their
pets between 7am and 10pm, or take
them to parks, shopping centres, sports
facilities and other public spaces. Strict
Chinese rules on dog ownership stem
from the belief of Communist China’s
founder Mao Zedong that the animals
are a “bourgeois affectation.”
... an American Airlines baggage handler
who took a nap in the cargo hold of a
plane and ended up flying from Kansas
City to Chicago. The 27-year-old, who
was not injured during the one-hour
flight, told police officers that he had
consumed several alcoholic drinks
30
before falling asleep in the hold.
... Steve Dockerty of Daventry who
pulled an alarm cord to alert his carers
after he heard a smoke alarm going off
last month. Firefighters arrived at his
property only to discover the “alarm”
came from Jazz, one of Steve’s two grey
parrots, who has learned how to mimic
the sound perfectly.
And finally ...
A new book has been published listing
600 words in the English language which
have fallen out of common usage and
could become extinct. Amongst them,
author Edward Allhusen lists
defenestrate (the act of throwing
someone out of window), crapulence (a
hangover) and nincompoop (a foolish or
stupid person). But our favourite is the
word he has chosen as the book’s title :
Betrump (to deceive, to cheat or to evade
by guile).
Quotes
Last month, the UK budget hotel chain
Travelodge published a list of the most
bizarre requests from guests which
their staff have had to handle over the
last year. Here are some of the weirdest.
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Are you able to fly in some Beluga
Caviar from Russia for dinner this
evening?
Can you fill my room with 100 pink
heart shaped balloons for my
Grandmother’s 100th birthday which
say ‘Happy Birthday Grandma’?
Can you please get four of your team
members to dress up as the Beatles to
perform at my friend’s wedding
tonight as the band has cancelled?
Can you rename Floor 4 ahead of my
stay as it is an unlucky number in my
culture and put eight gold dragons in
my room for good luck?
Can my horse stay in my room
tonight?
Can you ask that the London Eye
rotates
in
an
anti-clockwise
formation?
Please can you call the airport and ask
the aeroplanes not to fly during the
night as I am a light sleeper?
Can you fill my bath with different
flavoured scoops of ice cream as a
birthday present for my wife’s 40th
birthday?
Grateful acknowledgement to the following
papers from which some of this material is
extracted: Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily
Express, Independent on Sunday, Mail on Sunday,
The Sun, The Sunday Times, The Times and The
Telegraph. Seen something funny, bizarre or just
plain weird? Contributions for Jottings are welcome
by email to: [email protected].