Smalltalk Autumn 2015 | Page 22

Worcester and Droitwich Branch When he was walking, I got Emile a dustpan and brush, cancelled a couple of groups and he found the housework as interesting as any playgroup I took him to. “Being calm helps you After a while, your calmness rubs off on get on with and tune in your child and I found I even had a little to your child‟s moods” bit of time to do things I enjoy (toddlers love going for walks, a young baby in a sling will be chilled out by a trip to a gallery or museum, and of course if they run around enough, they will nap in the afternoon). Being calm helps you get on with and tune in to your child‟s moods -– you can see tantrums coming and head them off. Now that I‟m in an office full-time and my partner is at home with our second child I find it much more difficult to get on the same level as my children after a stressful day at work or even in the truncated space of a weekend. The change in routine also meant I got engaged in my immediate community more than at any time since moving to London. There is a perception that having a child is an isolating experience – childless careerists will often talk about their fear of being “stuck at home with a baby” but nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing starts conversations with your neighbours like having a baby with you. Granted some of the conversations you will have will consist mainly of unsolicited advice about the extent to which your child needs to be wrapped up in the cold weather – but this tends to decline once you develop the aura of confidence of the stay-at-home parent. If you‟re used to commuting, being within a couple of miles of home all week brings the community you live in into more focus: I got involved as a school governor during my time off and other stay-at-home dads I‟ve spoken to also report taking up volunteering or getting to know their neighbours better. I‟ve also made new friends through playgroups and classes: the common experience of having a young baby tends to be a bonding experience (even if you‟ll struggle to chip in usefully to conversations about breast feeding) -– despite what I‟ve recommended about slowing down to your baby‟s pace, you should Worcester and Droitwich Branch Autumn 2015 22