SKORCH Nov | Dec 2016 | Page 43

Skorch Vol.12 Issue 10 nov/dec 2016 | SKORCHMAG.COM | 43 SUBMISSION beautiful Brazilian bodies (or should I say ‘booties’). Think of Brazilian Carnival. Beautiful women, voluptuous and scantily-clad - if all but for the enormous feathery headdresses. Big smiles, round bottoms, and big attitude! Although I feel at times out of place amongst these naturally bubbly, buxom, beauty queens, I find myself finding myself all over again as I adapt to the culture and way of life here. My body, like us all, has gone through many changes throughout my life. But is where I stand now the only decider of how I should express myself, and the body image I should convey? Can I adapt my cultural ideals and body image to find the Brazilian within me? I used to be a big girl, after I was a little girl. I grew up in a relatively small, predominantly white suburban neighbourhood in NZ. I suffered from Can you put a label on your unique self? extreme anxiety and depression at a young age, and medication and puberty hit me hard like a cold fish to the face when I was nine or ten years old. Into my teens my weight ballooned, but I always had good friends who loved me, and although I knew I was ‘the big girl’, I’m not sure I fully identified with the ‘big-girl’ body image. I guess I have always felt like my perceived image of myself is Skorch