Sin City Presents Magazine February 2017 Volume 4 Issue 2 - Page 61

Before we had a chance to even NOT respond, he followed it up with a statement of irrefutable proof..."Case in point....I do NOT own a single Green outfit."

(OK, how do you argue with logic like that???)

And as if that wasn't enough of a slam dunk, he proceeded to shatter the backboard by turning to Kenny, who had emerged from self-imposed exile behind the safety of that Ficus, as if on cue for this very scene, and addressing him directly with....

"Kenny, do you own any Green outfits?"...

"Nope, not one", confirmed Kenny.


The Demon folds his arms, content, having proven his point using both science, personal testimony AND expert witnesses, and looks directly at us as if to say, your move kids...

I fumbled through the following made-up statement,

"In a blacklight environment, Green POPS the most", but in a retort so quick, that it must surely have been pre-prepared, as my mouth was literally still forming the second half of the word "Most", he fires back...

"Yellow", pauses briefly, and finishes with "Yellow pops the most".

(Was he right?? I think he was, Fluorescent Yellow is pretty fucking bright!! How could he know that?? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?)

And before anyone had a chance to even process the information at hand, he was done with that point. Yes, by the time our eyes came back into focus from the sucker-punch we'd just been dealt, he was already opening the portfolio himself, clearly, confidently, and no longer relying on us whatsoever to actually give this presentation.

He had this...

Christina was wise though, and had the forethought to FRONT-LOAD the graphic presentation with glorious artist renditions of his Demon-ness in full, larger than life, comic-book-esque splendor. (Clever girl!)

Upon seeing himself brought to life in this new and exciting way, (Think about it, how many people have actually been rendered as a mini golf prop before?), he was once again that excited little kid, unwrapping some brand new KISS toys, and the universe began righting itself.

She had gone with the following formula, which to this day has proven effective when directly pitching anything KISS-related to him:

Gene, Gene, Gene.

Gene, Gene, Paul.

Gene, Gene, Ace.

Gene, Gene, Peter.


And just as quickly as the train had derailed and we scrunched our eyes shut awaiting our eminent deaths, as if by divine intervention, when we reopened our eyes it seemed that our tiny roller coaster car had miraculously found it's way back onto the tracks, and we were back from our brief excursion into the Twilight Zone.

Quick inventory:

Me, here. (Quick crotch check, no pee:)

Christina, here.

Kenny, here, (Fucker!)

Demon, present and engaged.

Mortimer.....We're BACK!!

(That's it for today's for today kids, tune in next time for the fifth, and final installment of our 5-Part Creature-Double-Feature Mini-Series, The Lair of The Demon, on Channel 56!!!!)