Sin City Presents Magazine August 2016 Volume 3 Issue 8 - Page 80


The Daily Demon

Claude Rains vs Robin Hood .

Your Daily Demon: Claude Rains vs. Robin Hood I was leaving my hotel room in Wichita Kansas this morning with plenty of Kansas stories to tell, when I inadvertently knocked over a bottle of Dasani water that I'd planned to take with me, but left the cap off. And as I, half-sleeping, watched its contents drain out onto the floor, mesmerized by its elegant fluidity, I was transported back to November of 2015, to an event I had blocked out of mind until this very moment, which through some sort of hotel room hypnotic-state flashback, came rushing back to me.

So I decided to write about it before my conscious stuffed it back down into my subconscious, where it might never resurface again. (Ok, I drink a lot, and forget stuff)

Now those that follow this column have heard me wax philosophical, ad nauseam, about my "stay invisible" mantra. Which of course is simple enough during downtime, but not at all possible while we are actually working, and herein lies the problem for someone like me, with Personality-Type: "Fork-in-a-Blender".

Backing up MUCH further than necessary to set up a story that in actuality lasted less than 5 seconds....In the words of Robby Hart during his drunken wedding-singer meltdown, "I have the microphone, so you will listen to every god damn word I have to say!!"(Or, simply stop reading. This IS still America)

There are a few people in this world that have a GENUINELY never-ending wellspring of material that they can conjure up, seemingly on-tap. Robin Williams comes to mind. I remember seeing an interview with Richard Pryor where he joked that he got together with Williams to work on some improv, and after Pryor riffed for 10mins, Williams got up and riffed for 2 1/2 hours. That's inhuman!

Ever done stand up? I have, and an 8 minute set is a fucking LIFETIME.

Howie Mandell is another one. I remember listening to him as a guest on the radio show LoveLines with Dr. Drew and Adam Corrolla, and it was incredible to witness Howie hear a caller express an issue, and instantly have a spontaneous, (albeit, typically wildly inappropriate for the subject matter) original piece of comedy that he effortlessly created in real time, for literally every caller, over a 2 hour span.

That takes a special kind of mind, and while most of us can occasionally pull an award winning one liner out of our asses, the vast majority of us do not have that combination of REAL wit, combined with the ability to conjure it instantaneously, and execute it eloquently, "ON-TAP".

That said, thankfully many of the rest of us can get by on what I call "rehearsed material".

Situational jokes/comments/remarks you keep in your quiver like arrows, and pull them out like Robin Hood to appear very quick witted should the planets ever align, to hand you that IDEAL situation to throw down your one liner to a fresh audience, drop the mic, and ride off into the sunset like a hero with that Foo Fighters song playing in the background as your credits roll.

After 46 years on this marble, I've amassed a bevy of them.