Simply Elevate Issue 6 June 2013 - Page 26

miss any opportunity to see your children participate in things they like to do. Even if you have to go back to work when it is over be there to applaud, smile and congratulate them for graduating from kindergarten, middle school or swimming classes. Don’t let anyone convince you that quality time is better than quantity of time. Someday you’ll look back and realize there was never a perfect time. It’s just time. Whether it is quality time or not is up to you, not some external factor. Hug your wife often and your kids as well. Your children are figuring out how to treat their future wife by watching you. Teach them to respect and love her by doing it yourself. It will carry much more weight than your words. If you messed up, say so. Tell them you were wrong, you’re sorry and mean it. Then don’t repeat that mistake. There are so many new mistakes to make you, are wasting time if you keep making the same ones over and over. Give your children everything they need, but not everything they want. No matter how badly you want to and even if you have the means to give it, you are teaching them there is nothing worth working for. They aren’t learning the difference between “need” and “want”, don’t make them learn that lesson the hard way and on their own. Don’t talk to them when you are mad. Walk away and come back when you are rational again. Your kids will get the message. Once your children are 4 or 5 they know punishment is coming, and your silence is more powerful than your angry voice. Support your wife and back her up in handling the children. If she has imposed a punishment or promised a treat, then follow through just as though it was your idea. You and your wife can talk about it later and decide if that is how to handle it next time. The last advice I have to offer is to always put your children high on your list when you are making a lifechanging decision. Don’t make changing your children’s schools, losing their friends or leaving behind a cherished pet an afterthought when you are considering a career change or moving. Ask them what they think and take their thoughts and needs into consideration. You may still take the job or move out of the neighborhood, but you need to plan to help them make the transition too. My children are grown and on their own now. They are wonderful people and seem to have forgotten or forgiven all the mistakes I made while raising them. I couldn’t be prouder of them than I am. They are each their own person, are still close to each other and close to us. Being a parent is something you can only learn while on the job. It is hard work, takes sacrifice and you can never be absolutely sure you are doing it right. Do the best you know how and understand you have the most important job in the world. I think God gives us grandchildren so we can be the kind of parent we wish we had been to their parents. Acquilla Semevou McCoy,CEO Our Efforts United, Inc & Unified Creativity, llc ENTREPRENUER ENTREPRENUER AUTHOR AUTHOR EDUCATOR EDUCATOR SPEAKER SPEAKER PERFORMER PERFORMER ACTRESS ACTRESS MODEL MODEL /lMsSemevou @MsSemevou Semevou OUR EFFORTS UNITED Community Organization partnered with The B.A.G.S Organization Our mission is to help youth 17 and under use the creative arts to build positive self-images while learning to set and achieve goals & build healthy relationships. Let’s Unify through Building our community in a fun, engaging, and lasting fashion! Providing free educational services, monthly Saturday Enrichment Days, AUTHOR Self development and Test prep Please contact us to volunteer, donate, sponsor, or partner: EDUCATOR SPEAKER PERFORMER 919.378.1691 from 9:00am- 5:00pm EST Mailing Address: Attn: Acquilla McCoy P.O. Box 37941 Raleigh, NC 27627 ACTRESS Physical Address: MODEL Acquilla McCoy Attn: J.D. Lewis Facility 2245 Garner Rd. Raleigh, NC 27601 26 27