How to Write a Condolence Note
E xpressing ourselves in writing can be difficult, especially
when it comes to comforting friends and family who have
lost a loved one. But it’s worth the time and effort to write
a condolence note – even a few words on a store-bought
card will show that you care.
Generally, try to send your note as soon as possible. A
good guideline is within the first two weeks following the
loss. If you can, hand write the note on stationery or a card,
rather than sending an email.
A note of condolence is usually sent to the people most
affected by the death. But you needn’t feel restricted to just
offering your sympathy to the immediate family. If you
know any friends or other relatives who were close to the
deceased, you may also want to send them a card.
Don’t feel you have to write a lengthy message. Simply
express your sympathy and let the recipients know that your
thoughts are with them during this difficult time. Sharing a
fond memory of the deceased can be a thoughtful addition
to the message.
Here are a few steps to follow:
• Acknowledge the loss and refer to the deceased by name.
• Express your sympathy.
• Note any special qualities of the deceased that come to
mind.
• End the letter with a thoughtful word, a hope, a wish, or
expression of sympathy, such as “You are in my thoughts”
or “Wishing you God’s peace.” Closings such as “Sincerely,”
or “Fondly,” aren’t quite as personal.
Depending on your relationship to the bereaved, you may
also want to offer help. Instead of the vague promise of “if
there’s anything I can do let me know” it is much more useful
to be specific. For example, “I’ll call next week to schedule a
time when I can babysit,” or “I’ll cover for you while you’re
out of the office.”
It may sound like a cliché, but this is the time to be yourself.
Go with your instincts; the words that come from your heart
are the likeliest to comfort those in mourning.•
Article provided by Dodsworth & Brown Funeral Home –
Burlington Chapel, Dodsworth & Brown Funeral Home –
Ancaster Chapel and Oakview Funeral Home.
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